3:35 PM Enter Franklin Field ten minutes early and see football players already on the field. Do I have the wrong practice time?

3:37 PM Look up, reevaluate size of football players. They are smaller than I expect football players to look. Maybe because they're so far away. My depth perception is off. I put on my glasses and walk to the bleachers.

3:45 PM What I assume is the Sprint Football team changes into a new formation. I assume that they're leaving. They don't leave. Has the entire varsity football team stood me up?

3:52 PM "Two Tickets to Paradise" comes on blasting from a speaker on the field. Everyone starts running in one direction. I assume this is some sort of end of practice ritual. Yep. They're all moving their legs like they're synchronized swimming. But they're on a football field. They look so graceful.

3:54 PM Someone yells something. They all grunt back in tandem. Aw. Now they're like a manly choir.

3:58 PM Men's track team runs by. Such sweat–glistened gazelles. 

3:59 PM Coach blows whistle fifteen times in a row. I'm grateful I'm not hungover.

4:03 PM An athletics staff member comes over. Explains I've been watching the varsity team the whole time. The 'end of practice' ritual I thought I was watching was warm–ups. Oops.

4:07 PM He explains football to me. He tells me there are big people on both sides and that instead of calling them 'big people' I can call them 'linebackers'. I observe him questioning my authority and ability to write an article about football. I don't blame him.

4:18 PM Wonder if my cute freshman hall mate is still on the team.

4:21 PM Macklemore's "City Can't Hold Us" is blasting on the field. Why the hell is nobody dancing?

4:22 PM #88 removes his helmet to reveal a gorgeous mane of brown curly hair, which he then sweeps into the most beautiful man bun I've ever seen.

4:26 PM I wonder if the team's personal DJ takes requests?

4:27 PM One of the coaches says something about wanting to rip off the other team’s shoulders. What happened to Quakers being pacifists??

4:28 PM They begin activity that involves running through each other and getting hit with mats. This doesn't look fun. Those mats would be far better used as pillows for a nap.

4:34 PM Good catch, #6!

4:35 PM Good catch again, #6!

4:36 PM Ok #6, stop showing off.

4:40 PM The offense keeps pushing #69. I'm pretty sure it's for a drill, but still, they shouldn’t be pushing #69 like that so much. What has #69 ever done to them?

4:41 PM Sirens have sounded, signaling the end of a practice period. All the players are barking at each other as they run towards the end of the field. It appears that the genetic makeup of the football team is part canine.

4:44 PM Kanye West’s “Flashing Lights” is playing over the loudspeakers. I would absolutely tackle people to this song.

4:47 PM #2, why did you run offsides? You had the ball! You could've scored a touchdown!! You could've gone for gold!!! Why did you run off at the 30 yard line??

4:53 PM I accidentally call practice "rehearsal." It is very clear that two kids involved in performing arts are writing this article about football.

5:08 PM Witness first chest bump of the practice. What took them so long?

5:20 PM Realize that Franklin Field has excellent connection to AirPennNet. Possibly future study spot?

5:29 PM The whole team is huddling. Much teamwork, such bonding, go Quakers. 

5:34 PM I feel happy. Perhaps I'm benefiting from the endorphins of watching a bunch of other people exercise.

5:37 PM Practice is over. I'm exhausted. 


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