15 reasons to darty on the weekends between St. Paddy's and Fling

Like anyone at Penn *needs* a reason


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Photo: / 34th Street

1. The sun rose in the east and set in the west.

2. You did well on a midterm.

3. You did badly on a midterm.

4. Booker T. Washington's birthday (April 5).

5. You want to maintain your carefully curated social media brand which screams, “I’m sceney but also self–deprecating so you don’t think I’m obsessed with my social media brand.”

6. FroGro is still open.

7. You want to avoid going to your friends’ performing arts shows.

8. Magic Carpet is a thing that exists in your life.

9. AirPennNet is a loyal homie who is there for you and all your illegal music porn–streaming needs.

10. Your post–spring break cleanse is over.

11. You have nothing to lose but your chains.

12. Passover.

13. Easter—JK, Passover again.

14. Life’s too short to realize it’s 30 degrees outside and you have three midterms next week.

15. It’s almost Fling.


03-23-17, essentials, fake, front page, frontpage, homepage, latest-issue, latestissue, lowbrow

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