While most people don't believe that Hollywood is the epicenter of creativity in America, there have been a few recent films that have either told good stories (25th Hour, About Schmidt) or experimented with narrative structure (Adaptation, Chicago). On a recent trip to the movies, however, I was reminded of how poor my beloved film industry has become. Three new films currently in production will make pre-film commercials seem downright charming. Rather than simple product placement, studios are opting to base entire films on proven, selling commodities. The culprits? Disney is filming Pirates of the Carribean and The Haunted Mansion, movies based on popular rides in Walt Disney World. And just announced this past week, Columbia Pictures is producing a movie based onHot Wheels, the die-cast toy cars, with hyperkinetic Charlie's Angels director McG at the helm. In the press release, McG commented, "We want to create a timeless story that will work for everyone -- a charismatic young hero, great stakes and jeopardy and a fantastic love story." While such desires are admirable, does anyone ever associate McG's goals with Hot Wheels? I doubt my five-year-old cousin wants his mini-Porsche to find a Love Bug -- he just wants to zoom it around the kitchen. I don't doubt that there can be good films made about pirates, haunted houses and cars. But when films go into production because their script is based on a product rather than a good idea, Hollywood stumbles deeper into their self-created sewer. Films that take chances will soon be ignored, unless those chances involve advertisements. These latest developments may turn off many, but as long as Hollywood still has a few auteurs and writers who use their leverage for creative good, we may be able to stave off Old Navy's Dude, Where's My Fleece? Unfortunately, though, I probably planted an idea into the head of some young director with that idealistic thought.

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