The students at the University of Pennsylvania attend classes in order to quench their thirst for learning, to develop analytical and investigative mental abilities and to further their quest for divine truth and knowledge. Or so we hear. As for ourselves, we go to class with the hope that we may one day accumulate enough information to have a chance at completing the Sunday New York Times crossword. Bill Clinton can do it in 15 minutes. Whatever your reason, don't settle for a mediocre class. Here are our top picks for classes that will get you downing and acrossing in no time.

ARTH 287: Twentieth Century Art: 1945-Now (Bellow)

The only thing better than faking a comprehensive understanding of contemporary art is looking at photographs of angry, self-righteous feminists in the nude.

HIST 430: The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich (Childers)

What better to talk about during that silent stretch with your Jewish investment banker blind date than heritage and history?

CLST 365: Homer and Joyce (Murnaghan and Mahaffey)

Ulysses is approximately 1,347,756,843 pages long. Masochism + name-dropping Joyce = so hot right now.

COMM 395: Communications and the Presidency (Eisenhower)

Eisenhower's a Republican, and he's married to Julie Nixon, but, hey, who says two wrongs don't make a right?

AFRC 113: Tupac Shakur (Dyson)

Jesus is so '90s. As far as we're concerned, Tupac is the new miracle worker. How else is he still releasing new albums from the tomb?

MEAM 415: Product Design (Ulrich)

There really aren't very many compelling reasons to take a Wharton class these days, now that there is no chance for an Ivanka-sighting. But here's one of them.

ENGL 112: Advanced Fiction Workshop (Apple)

Zadie Smith was our age when she earned countless awards and six figures for White Teeth. And you spend your free time with 40's and HBO on Demand.