Record of the year

Will win: Usher featuring Lil Jon & Ludacris -- "Yeah!"

You might hate it, but it loves you.

Should win: Ray Charles & Norah Jones -- "Here We Go Again"

It's Ray. Fuckin' Ray Charles. Ok, maybe he will win.

Album of the year

Will win: Kanye West -- College Dropout

You can't deny anyone with enough panache to pop TWO collars.

Should win: Kanye West -- College Dropout

He rhymed through a WIRED jaw! You would just bitch and ask for more Vicodin.

Best New Artist

Will win: Maroon 5

Step 1. Hire a Jewish lead singer to head N'Sync with instruments.

Step 2. Watch the money roll in.

Should win: Joss Stone

If she wrote her own songs, they might suck. Luckily, she got Desmond Child and Betty Wright to help.

Best rock song

Will win: U2 -- "Vertigo"

Because Bono speaks at Ivy League commencements.

Should Win: Modest Mouse -- "Float On"

Crazy = brilliant.

Best rock album Will win: Green Day -- American Idiot

Returning to "old" stuff is the new Tre Cool.

Should win: The Killers -- Hot Fuss

They sing "Take Me Out," right?

Best alternative album

Will win: Modest Mouse -- Good News for People Who Love Bad News

I was a detective in a former life.

Should win: Wilco -- A Ghost is Born

Tweedy head hurt. Tweedy write songs.

Best rap song

Will win: Kanye West -- "Jesus Walks"

Jesus will always win. :)

Should win: Jay-Z -- "99 Problems"

;)

Best rap album

Will win: Kanye West -- College Dropout

Two words: Po Lo.

Should win: Jay-Z -- The Black Album

He's got the finest chick in the game wearin' his chain.


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