Do:
Trade sex for grades. Unless it's with that Wharton professor.
Get high the night before because it will "expand your mind . man."
Arrange all your pencils, calculators, pens, erasers and timing devices in perfect order (with granola bars!) so that you are "prepared" to go to your exam in the morning. And be a huge tool.
Write jokes on your exam. It will definitely lighten the professor's mood and might be the only original ideas you have.
Go to a random midterm for a class you're not in. Then 10 minutes in stand up, yell "SHIT! Wrong midterm!" and run out crying. Seriously, it'll make everyone feel that much better thinking you're screwed.
Don't:
Use an abacus to study math. It's called a calculator, hello!
Walk into the test late and loudly ask if this is where the pants party is.
Participate in the Econ Scream if you're a humanities student. That scream was not meant for you nor is it simply about "midterm stress." It is a glimpse into their future.
Study in a toilet. You won't fit.
Walk on the Compass or you will be smote right where you stand! Or something like that.
Extend an excessive amount of courtesy toward your professor. Hint - he or she doesn't know your name.
Study not naked.
Do your homework on the edge of a cliff. On a blustery day, a paper might get blown off. Maybe even one of your syllabi!
Dos then don'ts:
Do: Laugh at the girl who sports skanky frat party attire during her biology exam.
But dont: Be that girl.
Do: Study anatomy.
But don't: Consider Dr. Grey a valuable source of information.
Do: Study in a group. Sometimes you need help to focus.
But don't: Consider Red Bull and Adderall your favorite study partners.
Do: Get the Asian kid to help you study for your math midterm.
But don't: Admit you only asked for his help because he's Asian.
