1. GODSMACK: For those of you who weren’t duped into thinking these guys would be the headliner, it’s a metal band. Yes, a metal band. A moment of silence for all of us who received heart–stopping text messages from gullible roommates.
2. TYGA (aka Thank You God Always): At least with Girl Talk, we’d only be subject to one line of Rack City amidst much better songs. Oh, what’s that? Tyga IS coming to fling? Shit.
3. Any artist from the latest "Now That's What I Call Music": FYI, they're on #84.
4. BAAUER (aka the musical entity that is responsible for the Harlem Shake): Celebrate the fact that you don’t have to suffer through any more of this song that has creeped into every crevice of your life.
5. The Jonas Brothers: They have recently gotten back together, and are probably looking for work. Things could be much much worse than Girl Talk.
