Christian leaders at Starbucks under Commons: Coffee is like the Reformation.

 

Nostalgic birthday girl: When I was little, my brother and sister used to take off my tights and used them to tie me to different pieces of furniture and tickle me. That’s why I’m sensitive.

 

Businessman at coffee chat: What do you want to accomplish from this business?

Penn student: What I want to accomplish from this business is chasing my passion, which is building watches.

 

Gay guy on Valentine’s Day: I’d rather fist myself than go to dinner with him tonight.