IN: Watermelon Marg: Rivals Copa’s intensity, but you feel like a classy mofo drinking it. The watermelon infusion smooths over the cringe–worthy taste of tequila we all know too well.
OUT: Cucumber Marg: Stop. We’re both huge fans of the cucumber water trend, but there’s a time and place for it and it’s not at 8 pm on a Friday.
IN: Scallop: Paired with tomatoes and cucumber-pineapple reduction sauce, this morsel was everything we’ve dreamed of and more. Since this was a special, plan on camping outside of Distrito until they offer it again.
OUT: Octopus: Another special topped with oil and chili, this is still a good option if you’re in an “octopus mood” (whatever that is). However, it pales in comparison to the buttery scallop.
IN: Super Nachos: Deserving of the title "super," these will give you lots of solid that’s–what–she–said material, i.e., “I can’t even fit my mouth around this.” (Ed. note: I actually said this.) Add guac to go from super to superb.
OUT: Chilango Chop: We don’t care if it’s a first date, if you go to Distrito and order a salad we will blacklist you.
IN: Red Sangria: This is not your typical franzia concoction. Treat yourself to a lush red wine, brandy, orange liqueur, apple, and pear delight. Also guaranteed to get the job done.
OUT: White Sangria: Kinda just tasted like wine. Might as well BYO a ten dollar bottle of yellowtail and add some orange zest yourself.
IN: Quesadilla: This is the Kanye West of the antojitos. The queso chihuahua, black beans, corn, rajas, glazed onions and ropa vieja is thicker than Kanye’s ego but just as dramatic.
OUT: Burrito Suiza: This monstrosity is roughly the size of a newborn child. Although we love anything smothered in red chili sauce, it wasn’t worth the inevitable induced coma.
IN: Al Pastor Taco: Stray away from your typical chicken or beef taco and go knee deep in this guajillo glazed pork. This was so good, it’s hard to taco bout it.
OUT: Tofu Chorizo Taco: Enjoyable but not any better than the frozen taquitos my mom used to make me when I was six. If you’re a veg, just make sure to get all the extras or have three margs before your meal.
IN: Churros: Although we’ve never had a bad churro experience, these were downright godly. Immerse in both the coconut crema and spicy valrhona chocolate sides for a spiritual awakening.
OUT: Whatever else you were about to order.
