Take a sip every time...

  • Trump says “win,” “winning,” or “winner”

    • Bonus sip if he says “wiener”

  • Trump licks his lips after a sip of water

    • Those damn immigrants stealing our jobs and our chapstick

  • Hillary makes awkward eye contact with the camera

    • You may have been Ready for Hillary, but we doubt you were Ready for That Really Uncomfortable Second of Eye Contact

  • Trump’s left eyebrow moves up

    • CNN might need to consider zooming out more to make sure Trump’s eyebrow doesn’t float out of the frame

  • Hillary fake laughs

    • She’s the Jimmy Fallon of politics

  • Trump sharply inhales through his nose or breathes heavily into mic

    • Border patrol data shows that every time Trump blows his nose, an illegal immigrant crosses the border (not a great argument, but better than most of his)

  • A sexist comment is made and you get excited to see social media blow up

    • Our generation is not great at voting, but damn can we get angry on Facebook

Chug for the duration of time…

  • It takes Hillary to slow–motion blink like a Ferbie

    • Political analysts have calculated that Hillary spent a total of 41 minutes blinking during the first debate

  • Hillary is motionless

    • No, the right half of your screen isn’t frozen—she just sometimes forgets to move. It happens to the best of us

  • Trump’s answer goes on and on without actually responding to the question

    • What do you mean “stamina” isn’t a synonym for “look?"

  • Between Trump saying something dumb and a meme appearing on the internet

    • The critics have very good brains

Take a shot every time…

  • Trump interrupts Hillary

    • CAUTION: May lead to blacking out within five minutes of the debate starting

  • Hillary turns her head in an angle that makes her hair look like a blonde Elvis wig

    • Apparently Hillary’s hairdresser and tailor are both blind men from the 1930s

  • Trump makes a little kissy face while Hillary is talking


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