The United States Conference of Street Bishops
Of late we have been approached by many mothers concerned for the state of their children's moral health in light of the tragic lack of Christian values exhibited by our country's majority. "I picked my child up from Wee-Wuns Daycare the other day, only to have her tell me that she had spent the afternoon engaging in sexual intercourse with another three year old, and that she was interested in getting on 'the pill,'" one mother wrote. Another informed us that she was disturbed when she walked into her seven year old son's bedroom to find heroin needles scattered around him as he fellated another young male. Worried, we decided to rerelease some old reviews of Walt Disney films, all three of which both of the young children in question had watched within a year of their respective indiscretions. And we wonder why our land is falling into disarray....