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Wharton Junior Discovers He Has Become a Dementor

Life goals and plans do not require alteration.

Junior Sam Lestrange had a rude awakening during On–Campus Recruiting this semester. He noticed some “distinctive” components of the interviews that he had not prepared for. 

“I appreciated Career Service's advice to always have an emotionless, faceless expression. But when the interviewers consistently tried to kiss me, I felt like something weird was going on.” Sam realized he was actually interviewing for Summer Analyst positions as a dementor, the soul–sucking prison guards of Azkaban. 

“Since I never knew what consulting was in the first place, I wasn’t actually that disappointed," he said. "And it turns out that it has a lot of what I was looking for in terms of workplace lifestyle.” 

Sam was also optimistic about applying the skills he's honed during his time at Wharton to his new profession. 

“The skills are extremely transferrable to this line of work,” he said. “I learned pretty much all I needed to know to suck out people’s souls in MGMT 100. Everything else is personal style.” Though many would find living at a wizarding prison on an island in the middle of the sea difficult, Sam was excited about the opportunity to travel. 

Street reached out to current dementors for comments but received only cold gusts of wind in response.


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