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Film & TV

Spiking The Punch

In his newsboy cap and jeans, Spike Lee saunters onto the stage in a packed Zellerbach auditorium. He seems irritated that he has to engage an audience of eager and inquisitive fans and scholars.

by MAWUSE ZIEGBE

Editors' pick: Favorite V-day movie

Lisa Tauber (Guides): Valentine Starring the queen of shitty movies, Denise Richards, this movie is just so ridiculous that it's good.

by 34TH STREET

Kevin James, You Can't Dance

Hitch rises above a seemingly formulaic plot to ultimately become a funny and enjoyable film in the middle of Hollywood's dead season. Will Smith plays Alex Hitchens, dating superhero, sworn to protect men from their own bad habits, poor taste and insecurity.

by MATT KURUC

Jaa-rule

Certain films, like Prachya Pinkaew's Ong-Bak: The Thai Warrior, exist as nothing more than a platform to display a person's tremendous physical talents.

by JIM NEWELL

A Better than average chick flick

Though all the hopeless romantics out there hoping to meet and fall in love with a male escort might disagree, The Wedding Date is a disappointment.

by ROB COHEN

The Jamie Foxx Show

Best Picture: The Aviator Finding Neverland Million Dollar Baby Ray Sideways According to most experts, 2004 was a poor year for movies.

by JIM NEWELL

Love Me, Mr. Darcy

Jane Austin started it. Helen Fielding's modernized it. Now, director Gurinder Chadha (Bend it Like Beckham) has taken the novel Pride and Prejudice (as well as women's perpetual lust for Mr. Darcy) and injected some good ol' Bollywood in it.

by JANICE HAHN

We're not singing

A Love Song for Bobby Long aims to be an off-kilter yet heartwarming tale, but mostly it just plants itself in the middle of Crazyville and refuses to leave.

by CAROLYN DAUCHER

Charlie, You So Crazay

Remember your quirky and obnoxious imaginary friend who liked to throw spaghetti and cut people's hair while they slept?

by SHAKIRAH SIMLEY

Spring movies and such

As far as movies are concerned, the first few months of any year always suck. Since major studios tend to release their Oscar contenders in the summer and fall, all they can serve the hungry nerds now are mere table scraps.

by MAWUSE ZIEGBE

BUT They Were so cute!

And you thought Bennifer was the break-up to end all break-ups. It may have been a week late, but Hollywood gave celebrity gossipers the best Christmas gift imaginable a couple of weeks ago.

by MAWUSE ZIEGBE

Hilary swank looks like a man...

Million Dollar Baby is the conventional movie that everyone's sure to like a lot, but not to love.

by ROB COHEN

Assault on our intelligence

Jean-Francois Richet's remake of John Carpenter's 1976 film Assault on Precinct 13 could almost be billed as a parody of the typical action flick.

by ALIX MCKENNA

Basketball a la Carter

In 1999 Ken Carter, head coach of an inner city high school basketball team in California, created a large controversy when he locked out his undefeated team because they were doing poorly in school.

by ALEXANDRA CHALAT

Hot sticky sugar sweet

This article appeared in the December 9th joke issue. While interning at Vivid Video, I happened upon a script featuring one of my good friends in a, ahem, special movie.

by 34TH STREET

Singing to a different poon

This article appeared in the December 9th joke issue. Misty Beethoven: The Musical is destined for Oscar glory.

by SWEATEE MUFFMUNCHER

Alexander the gay

Oliver Stone's bloated new epic Alexander is really, really gay. Overt male homoeroticism pervades almost every other scene.

by JEFF LEVIN

Worse Than watching paint dry

Because we know more about film than all of Hollywood (and by the transitive property, that means all of you too), we thought we'd present to you, our glorious readers, the grandest film gaffes of the year 2004.

by ZACH SMITH

Stop in the name of law!

Closer features one of the most beautiful casts ever assembled. Alice (Natalie Portman) and Dan (Jude Law) face an obstacle in their relationship when Anna (Julia Roberts) is hired to take Dan's picture for a book cover jacket and a passionate kiss between the two ensues.

by HILLARY KELLY

Jerry Bruckheimer is a Garish Assclown

Within the first 10 minutes of National Treasure, a gunpowder-packed treasure ship, submerged under the icy tundra, explodes.

by CARLY DAUCHER

PennConnects

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