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The Roundup: 10.25.2012
Welcome back, kiddos. While you were off galavanting in pumpkin patches and drinking the sweet, sweet ambrosia that is apple cider, Highbrow was here, trolling for overheards and gossip.
by 34TH STREET
Word on the street
Word on the Street: From Penn to Oktoberfest in 96 Hours
Let’s be real: Oktoberfest is every frat boy’s wet dream: beer, boobs, a selection of heavy, meat–based foods, amusement rides and more beer.
by MIMI SOLMSSEN
Word on the street
Things I Learned From Sesame Street
Governor Mitt Romney recently announced that he would cut funding to the Public Broadcasting Service, specifically to shows like "Sesame Street," which has been running for upwards of 40 years.
by FARYN PEARL
The Roundup: 10.11.2012
Let's start this off with a big ol' congratulations to you for surviving Family Weekend! Snaps to you.
by 34TH STREET
Creepin' On Craigslist
Highbrow hit up Craiglist personal ads to help you shake things up a bit. No foot fetishes or dick pics, we promise.
by 34TH STREET
Overheard at Penn: 10.11.2012
Math Professor: First, there were 35 students in my class. Now there are 13. Most have dropped, but the Chinese remain.
Girl: You put your penis in a taco shell?
Guy: Who hasn’t?
by 34TH STREET
Word on the street
Word on the Street: Black is the New Black
Throughout my time at Penn, I’ve amassed a truly unfortunate number of “that girl” monikers: “that girl who tweets a lot,” “that girl who makes sarcastic comments,” “that girl with the glasses,” to name a few.
by COLETTE BLOOM
Overheard at Penn: 10.4.2012
Freshman: My marketing textbook was $350 but I bursared it, which means it’s free, or something.
Girl: I hate when I think I find a cute dress in Urban and then pick it up and it’s like, “Fuck you, I’m a romper.”
Bro: The way college has conditioned me to ignore fire alarms is why and how I’m going to die.
Girl 1: All you think about is food, boys and school.
Girl 2: What else is there to think about -— Judaism?
Starbucks employee: I’ve got a grande iced water for Mary!
by 34TH STREET
Dispatch: Trying Birth Control
7:30 a.m.: Roll whale–like body under covers. Life is futile.
9:00 a.m.: Attempt to put on pants.
9:30 a.m.: Wander around aimlessly in underpants.
by 34TH STREET
The Roundup: 10.4.2012
Penn elections and the voter ID law have sparked a lot of debate this week. Let's stop fighting and do something we all can agree on: laughing at the weekly gossip.
Apparently some people are getting their fast food slogans all mixed up.
by 34TH STREET
Dispatch: Skimmer Fest
12:37 p.m.: Whoa, there are a lot of people here. I don’t do well in crowds, ready for awkwardness.
12:43 p.m.: We should probably look for free things, mainly food.
12:44 p.m.: Good thing I didn’t eat!
by 34TH STREET
Word on the street
Word on the Street: A Modest Proposal
I want to propose something. I know that it’s radical, dangerously so, but, with any luck, some of this world’s problems could be solved with just one simple change in our daily lives: we should look at each other. How often do you pass someone on campus, just casually walking by, and they simply refuse to look at you?
by JESSE DUBOIS
The Roundup: 9.27.2012
Fall into fall, freshies! For those of you who've spent your lives growing up sun–kissed and beach blonde, enjoy the one week of beautiful autumn sweater weather before this place becomes as cold as a witch's tit.
by 34TH STREET
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