Humor
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College is really about being a junior. Freshman year is about being a freshman, and meeting people, and crying a lot.
An abbreviated history of Penn landmarks
The Compass The Compass was actually the first frisbee used in a game of "Ultimate." When the University was founded, they had nary a tool to produce efficient flying discs; thus, they had to construct this one out of marble.
An open letter to New Delhi Indian restaurant
Dear New Delhi Indian Restaurant, Firstly, let me say this: you guys fucking rule. I dare not imagine Penn without your venerable establishment; why, the mere thought arouses in me tremors of fear.
From the Editor
I'm getting old. I can't deny that. In fact, I'm willing to admit it. Yes, a barber did tell me I was thinning this summer.
Play that funky music
I hereby proclaim myself King of the Colorless -- sovereign over all those with Casper-quality complexions -- for I am the whitest of all.
Dear Penn A Cappella Groups,
Dear Penn A Cappella Groups, Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Rebecca Stein, and my son Jacob is currently a freshman in the Wharton School of Business.
Reality Bytes
Whatever happened to actually accomplishing something before reaching celebrity status? Whatever happened to the milkman, the paperboy, evening TV?
From the Editor
Ah, that first taste of warm, flat Beast. Like the smells of a cookout on Memorial Day, that first turning leaf or the first snowfall, it's the herald of a new season.
Julie Kraut: Bring you sense of adventure
I hate to say it but this is my last column. I'd like to offer some formal au revoirs to special elements of my undergrad experience.
Winners Don't Do Drugs, Brother
I wanted to be Hulk Hogan. It's true. Every Saturday morning, I would get up at the crack of dawn, grab my box of Kix and plop my seven-year old posterior into the living room chair and watch nothing but cartoons.
From the Editor
People who work for Street have a reputation for being too cool for school. We're typecast, really, as people who will listen only to the indiest of indie rock and read every new Dave Eggers book. For the most part, that's not true, or at least not for me.
Scott Haller: Pancakes to celebrate
I'm just going to come right out and say it: I've had enough. I don't want any more. I've had enough Greek Lady and Hemo's, because every time I eat something there, I feel like I am going to boot it back up.
Timothy Gunatilaka: Lying to Pixley
Nothing stays; everything will change. And I really miss my toilet. I wanted to dislike college. I spent so much energy trying to escape all of you in my own private hideaway.
Remember my name
My parents have failed me. Sure, they spoiled me in all of the usual ways; school lunches from Le Bernadin, yachts, cocaine binges on Friday nights when we were bored, an endless stream of ponies boarded at Claremont until I graduated to thoroughbreds.
Rejection Hurts
Penn has taught me a lot about being rejected. First, though, we need a story about rabies. So one morning last year my mom wakes up to get ready for work only to find that there is a bat flying around my house.
From the editor
Lately, I've been reconnecting with the heroes of my past: mythical legends from a time long, long ago and a galaxy far, far away.
He takes dining dollars
Did you know that April 1st is called April Fish Day in France? Actually, les French prefer to call it poisson d'Avril ... good thing we're in America where we don't speak French or, as George W.
Shout Outz
To the Mexican from your Jew - After mucho petting and taco-flavored kisses, we're going to do the horizontal salsa and make babies named Latke, Gefilte Fish and Cheech & Chong. Hey I saw you two Saturdays ago at a Phi Delt party.
