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Unclear if Undergrads Speaking in Code or Just Overusing Penn-centric Abbreviations

He def SABS enough to be PPE.

by SHOSHANA STERNSTEIN

Students Vote to Replace Harvest with SoulCycle; Life-Saving Urgent Care Center Second

I'm not trying to walk back from my work out—I literally JUST worked out 

by CAMI POTTER

Overheards 09.27.17

30 year–old–woman: "A little molly never hurt anybody."

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

Senior with Goldman Sachs Offer and "Problem Solving Skills" Gets Really, Really Lost in the Quad

"Which one is Fitler?" said the fully grown adult

by DANO MAJOR

Overheards 9.20.17

Archetypal Penn dude: "We're dating. With an asterisk." 

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

How to Hide the Fact that You're a Freshman

By freshmen, for freshmen. 

by ANGELA LIN

My Strange Addiction: Constantly Applying To Jobs On Handshake

You can't beat the rush.

by SHOSHANA STERNSTEIN

Green Day Woken Up, Goes Back to Sleep Until 2020

Green Day band members face a confusing past when they are woken up at the end of September.

by CAMI POTTER

The Streets of Penn: Personified

Ugh, why won't Locust just shut up?

by LILY ZIRLIN

Totally Impossible Penn Riddles

Is it social climbing if you step on an elevated surface?

by ,

Trump Supporters Confused to Find that Made In America Not a Trump Rally

According to many confused festival-goers, Benjamin Franklin was a heathen and who even is Migos anyway? 

by CAMI POTTER

Overheards 9.13.17

Kylie Penn–er: "He kisses so aggressively that I think he's going to pop my lip injections."

by ,

Highbrow's Guide to Alternative Dirty Rushing

Like regular rushing, just dirtier. 

by ANNABELLE WILLIAMS

Highbrow's Early Fall Style Guide

Let the pumpkin spice begin.

by DANIEL BULPITT

The Four People You See in Allegro



by LUCIA KIM

Let's Play Bingo: Eagles Parade Edition

First one to get five in a row wins.

by DANIEL BULPITT

Overheards 9.6.17

Elmo BBQ attendees about tourist who found his way into the party: "LET HIM STAY. LET HIM STAY."

by ,

Why We SABS

You’ve seen them. You’ve probably even been one of them. 

by ANNABELLE WILLIAMS

To Catch A Biden

Street knows you’ve been trying to spot him around campus. Street knows you’ve been (mostly) unsuccessful.

by ,

Things Penn Could've Spent $80 Million on Instead of Hill

Now that NSO is over and we're all bored in class with syllabus week, we should take a look at one dorm 505 Penn students call home: Hill.

by DANIEL BULPITT

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