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Making Whoopi
Whoopi Goldberg Irvine Auditorium Saturday, 8 p.m., $10 Twice a year, SPEC Connaissance invites a keynote speaker to grace the floors of Irvine Auditorium and address our young, impressionable, Ivy League ears.
Give me five
SAUSAGEFEST German-American Weekend: Bier and Wurstfest German Society of Pennsylvania 611 Spring Garden Street Friday-Sunday, Free (215) 627-2332 www.germansociety.org/ Still bummed your totally sick plans to go to Munich and get wasted this October fell through?
Making Ben
Ben Kweller Irvine Auditorium Friday 8 p.m., doors open at 7:30, $15 in advance, $20 at the door I have often said that a man who can play a glockenspiel is a man after my own heart.
Your Guide to Hiding a Hickey
Sunday mornings are times for hangovers, brunch with friends and sometimes, when you least expect it, the discovery of some not-so-welcome reminders of the night before.
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Party on the Parkway Campus Philly Kick-Off Benjamin Franklin Parkway Saturday, 10:00 a.m. - 7:00 p.m., Free (215) 988-1707 http://www.campusphilly.org/kickoff/ Nothing says "Welcome back to college, Philadelphia students," like an onslaught of free stuff.
Street Beats
A drunken man needed to be rescued from his ex-lover's house after he tried to break into her home. The former Mrs. Claus had no comment. A couple sued their doctor over their in vitro fertilization procedure that produced twins, instead of the single child they had wanted.
dispatches
In case you missed the sidewalk chalk spam, elections for freshman Class Board and Undergraduate Assembly are officially underway.
Street Sweeper
Replenishing after a weekend of fasting during the most recent of high holy holidays, Stephen Glass is back just in time to watch the campus fall into bedlam without G-d's Chosen People.
Rockin' Round the Recycle Bin Banging on a trashcan
Rock and RecycleNOW Whole Foods Market 929 South Street Saturday, 3:00 p.m.-7:00 p.m., $15 (215) 567-4004 http://www.cleanair.org/Waste/fundraiser.html It's Saturday afternoon.
Your Guide to. Decorating your room so that People think you're cool
They say that first impressions are everything. Were you a Magic-playing Trekkie in high school? Or a cheerleader known for her spread eagle (on and off the field)? If so, and you want to trade in your high school persona for a newer, cooler and obviously better one, then having a well-decorated room is the key to your success.
Give me 5
sloshing good time Sippin' by the River, wine and food tasting Penn's Landing, Columbus Boulevard and Spring Garden Street Sunday, 1-5 p.m., $40 www.sippinbytheriver.com Take Restaurant Week, soak it in specialty wines and imported beers, miniaturize the food portions, throw in a little live music and a great cause, and you've got Sippin' by the River, an annual benefit for the Crohn's and Colitis Foundation of America.
Your Guide to. an Easy Fast
As any Rabbi (or Jewish grandmother) will tell you, Yom Kippur is a time when millions of Jews ask the man upstairs for forgiveness.
Dear guides,
Dear Guides, My roommate always brings girls home at night when I am trying to sleep. The problem is that he doesn't seem to notice that I'm awake, and keeps at it without giving me a chance to escape.
Give me 5
KISS KISS, BANG BANG Assassins Arden Theatre Co. 40th N. 2nd St. Today, 8 p.m., $27 (215) 922-1122 www.ardentheatre.org You love music.
September new shows
Private Practice, Wed, 9/26 at 9 p.m. on ABC Don't know if you've heard about this one yet, it's kind of flown under the radar.
Contempory art is temporary smarts!
Just three times each year, something magical happens at the Institute of Contemporary Art, that futuristically boxy building on Sansom Street: the old exhibits disappear, and abra kadabra!
That's Amore
With genuine hospitality reminiscent of a Southern diner, an extensive menu that's uncharacteristic of generic pizza joints, and a casual yet sophisticated decor, Mama Palma's is several notches above your ordinary neighborhood eatery. The menu boasts 34 pizzas (not to mention the create-your-own option), over a dozen breads and salads, plus panini, calzones and pasta.
Give me 5
Paint Yourself Navy Blue Man Group Wachovia Center 3601 S. Broad St. Thu, 7:30 p.m., $46.50-89.50 (800) 298-4200 www.comcast-spectacor.com What do you get when you combine rock music (with an emphasis on the percussion element), kooky props, sophisticated lighting, magic and blue paint?
Girls Gone Wild
In our efforts to bring to you, the reader, the best Philadelphia has to offer, we decided to skip out on Fling and head to the Zoo.

