The Best of Me by the Numbers
This chick flick gets an F-
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This chick flick gets an F-
Nicholas Sparks movies are predictable, textbook examples of tearjerkers. They thrive on genre tropes aimed at making us cry. And as an audience, we understand that and accept it. But Sparks’ most recent release, “The Best of Me,” is, frankly, an insult to fans of the genre.
Ten minutes south of South Street, quaint and cozy Cafe Ynez is nestled into the side of busy and industrial Washington Ave. There’s a chalkboard announcing its presence, but the place is otherwise unassuming.
1. Rhea Perlman is Annette Castellano. (Yes, that would be Danny's mom.)
1. "We're a Couple Now, Haters"
With the announcement of WE tv’s “Sex Box” (a reality show where couples have sex in some sort of box–like structure then talk about it with a panel of judges afterwards), it’s officially time to address “Naked TV” as a trend. The fad's spawned tons of shows, all with one thing in common: if you want to be a contestant, you have to be naked. Oh, and a whole lot of ass cheeks.
The Kooks have finally taken it upon themselves to reinvent their sound. Their first album was unashamedly fun Britpop, and their second a more advanced but still enjoyable version of that. But their third effort, “Junk of the Heart”, was a boring reiteration of the first two, and it seems the quartet knows it—their fourth installment “Listen” is a noticeable departure from albums past. Elements of funk and Stones-inspired angst litter tracks like “Forgive & Forget” and “It Was London”. The track “Westside” is reminiscent of their first hit “Naive”, but in a self-aware and nostalgic manner that feels earned. Lead single “Down” features surprising R&B inspiration as lead singer Luke Pritchard coos “Down down diggy diggy.” The album as a whole is somewhat clunky as a whole because of the varied style experimentation, but shows a musical evolution that will keep The Kooks on the map.
Every now and then, something terrible happens. I see a trailer for a movie, and I become obsessed with seeing said movie. I then text everyone I know, and slowly find out that no one I know cares enough to see the movie in theaters. This realization leaves me at a crossroads: I can either suck it up and not see the movie until it comes out on Netflix/On Demand/Wherever movies end up these days, or I can go alone. Alone, as in buying a ticket by myself, sitting by myself, and watching the movie by myself. Except going to the movies by yourself is considered a weird and socially stunted thing to do. Especially here. Going to The Rave by yourself? Talk about the opposite of SABS-ing. One day while facing this dilemma in regards to seeing “The Amazing Spider-man 2,” I started to take apart the issue. Why is going to the movies by yourself such a weird thing to do? People aren't supposed to talk during movies. Going with someone else usually just means you have to work extra hard to figure out when to go because everyone at Penn is too busy to find a free three hour window. So I've started doing this new thing: sometimes I do go to the movies by myself. I get to pick the time because I don't have another person's schedule to work around. I like to go around lunchtime if I can. Usually I stop and grab some cheaper food, hide it in my bag, and then sit where I want in the theater. And then this great thing happens; everything about being at the movies suddenly seems easier. I don't have to look for two seats together, or worry about someone else's armrest, or pretend to care about the commentary of the person I came with. So just hear me out, maybe going to the movies by yourself shouldn't be that weird. Films, the first time you see them, are supposed to be personal experiences where you get lost in the story, become friends with the characters, and forget about where you are. You don’t need other people to do that. And even if you do run into someone you know, just act like you haven't done anything strange. Or hide your face, whatever floats your boat. Just don’t let some illogical social stigma stop you from enjoying the magic of the movies. It’s okay to go to the movies by yourself, goddammit. (Unless you’re trying to see that new Transformers movie, you should lie and say someone else made you see that s***.)
Fun. guitarist Jack Antonoff's side project Bleachers' debut album starts off with a fun but slightly forgettable track titled "Wild Heart" that offers a preview of the sweeping type of '80s-inspired pop that colors the entire album.
"Driving Not Knowing" is a film Philly-born and Philly-bred. Written and directed by 3 Penn '14 grads (Dane Mainella, Dylan Hansen-Fliedner, and Jay Jadick) and a Temple '14 grad (Benjamin R. Davis), the movie follows the lives of three young people over the course of a dramatic weekend in the woods where they try to figure out their lives.
Hollywood Sequel Syndrome is alive and well in this second installment of the black ensemble comedy Think Like a Man, based on the Steve Harvey book of the same name. The problem stems from the fact that the book -–which was the source of the fresh comedy in the first movie—has no advice on how to add humor to a wedding romp in Las Vegas that takes place after the main characters have gotten their man.
Otherwise known as "Waka Waka" and some other fun songs. GO USA (or wherever you're from, Penn is an ~international~ place).
1) ACQUIRE BOOZE (& CHASERS & MIXERS)
1. “Greek” (2007–2011)
“The Other Woman” is not a perfect movie by any stretch of the term, but it delivers something promising for movie audiences: a strong female–driven comedy.
XFinity TV: Do your parents have Com- cast cable at home? Do they have XFinity? Do you have that elusive home email ad- dress that's written on a sticky somewhere in your mom's den? Congratulations, you’ve got access to everything your parents do on their TVs, including HBO if they have it. Which means you don’t have to hunt for HBO GO passwords.
Penn Characters
VP Secret Cubicle: Your secret CW addiction—we recommend up–and–comer “Reign.” Plus, if someone walks by, it might look like you’re watching some kind of docu–reenactment for your thesis on the renaissance period...right?
2:30 p.m.: Arrive late to Houston Hall portion of Relay. Why is no one here? We're offering shelter from the rain, and it's for cancer research! 2:37 p.m.: Okay wait cool here's a group of people. And is that fondue? 2:52 p.m.: Wow I'm really glad that we set up water pong so the four guys who are here could properly assert their masculinity amidst all this estrogen. Seriously, you're too cool for free food, Henna, chubby bunny AND interacting with females? 3:00 p.m.: PHOTO BOOOOOTH. Pictures with mah girlzzz and all these fun purple props!! But also "I Relay For..." signs to remember those we have lost to cancer/those who have survived it. 3:01 p.m.: Man, balancing the fun with the serious here can be sort of hard. Relay for Life problems, amirite? 5:29 p.m.: Walking from Houston to the Palestra, holy shit it is so nice outside. 6:01 p.m.: Having Relay inside means everyone brought their laptops... 6:30 p.m.: Opening ceremonies starting, people saying stuff, Penn band playing some tunes, feels like we're off to a good start! 6:32 p.m.: Confirmed that Beta has made attending all of Relay a hazing event for pledges. Group of attractive boys are Beta pledges. Because boys being interested in Relay for Life is not really a thing. Got it, boys. 6:39 p.m.: Ugh can we pick a different song than "Don't Stop Believin'" to be "inspiring" during the opening lap!? (Just kidding, I will always be inspired by this song, I AM A SMALL TOWN GIRL. YOU GET ME JOURNEY.) 6:41 p.m.: OOOH yes, 99 Red Luftballoons. **walking laps with friends who are there** 7:15 p.m.: Text received from a friend wondering when the free food will make its entrance so she can coordinate her arrival. Sigh. Texting back the information, but, like, where is the passion for raising money for the ACS? 7:20 p.m.: Popcorn purchased. Good decision. 7:32 p.m.: Slept only four hours last night, coffee now purchased. We've really got our bases covered in terms of the food groups. 7:53 p.m.: Speaking of food, people are rushing over to free pizzas. 8:26 p.m.: Finally, all of my friends have showed up—ain't nothin' like Relay with your friends. 8:47 p.m.: Beta pledges spotted hauling four pizza boxes back to their nest at the sports desk where they have camped because they are able to properly assert their manliness there. 9:31 p.m.: Strictly Funk performing will never fail to make me feel totally, physically inferior in every way possible. Teach me your ways, guys. 10:00 p.m.: Everyone's down on the court for the Luminaria and the survivor/remembrance speeches. Hope you're all ready for these waterworks, first time Relayers. 10:14 p.m.: Oh my God who let moms get cancer? How could you do that to children? Tears falling more freely than the first time I watched “A Little Princess.” 10:29 p.m.: Never complaining about anything ever again because this kid is talking about surviving bone and lung cancer and how the worst part about it was watching his family suffer, not actually having the cancer—why am I so selfish all the time?! 10:39 p.m: Confirmed that I fucking hate cancer with every fiber of my being. 10:50 p.m.: Talking about the power of the Luminaria ceremony will never not be cheesy but, damn, what a good time to be with your friends. 11:52 p.m.: Pennchants understanding that a boy band medley will always bring down the house. 11:54 p.m.: This may be the delirium setting in, but how can I inform every single member of the Pennchants that I want to date them? 12:37 a.m.: Nope, sorry, not participating in Zumba. But, hey, that instructor has some crazy energy considering it's past midnight... 12:39 a.m.: Okay maybe I'll Zumba a little. 12:41 a.m.: I'm sweaty. This is embarrassing. 1:29 a.m.: Yup Beta pledges still here one minute before the closing ceremony. 1:30 a.m.: Closing ceremonies! Can't believe it's all over; so tired, but also feeling morally superior to everyone who's not here (and also fundraising for cancer is super important). 1:30.5 a.m.: Oh right, I'm not done, I promised my friends they could pie me in the face with whipped cream if they donated to my team.... 1:37 a.m.: Getting pied in the face for cancer research is actually kinda fun! You should also check out Relay for Life: By the Numbers!
At one Locust Street house, a Wharton junior wearing a knit cap yarmulke comes bursting through the door at four o’clock in the afternoon on a Friday. After hurriedly greeting his housemate, he walks by a common room sporting a beer pong table and his house number written in beer caps on the wall. The sun is set to go down at 5:30 that day, and he has only until then to prepare his part for the weekly Shabbat dinner. To an unknowing onlooker, this scene might seem more frat house than religious hub. The setting is inconsistent with the serious nature of the orthodox services to which he’s counting down.
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