Every year we’re stunned by Penn students’ sheer inability to submit funny shoutouts. Since you never learn, we’re making an example of some particularly heinous submissions. We’re not laughing with you, we’re laughing at you.
These seniors want YOU to invest in Penn’s future. The Co–Chairs of Seniors for the Penn Fund ask for donations and channel them into every corner of our school. They’re shooting for 1,740 donations—they’re more interested in senior involvement than the bottom line.
Hailing from Long Island, this double–major has tackled everything from leading Pennacle to climbing the ranks of the NEC. He’s also a member of Sphinx, chief of Carriage Senior Society and co–pres of College Cognoscenti—oh my! He spends any leftover free time eating Oreos.
This Boston native inspires all sorts of feels as a playwright, Simply Chaos comedian and Excelano Project spoken–word poet. Seth excels in reading and writing, but he prefers birdwatching over arithmetic (we don’t blame him).
Spencer the Politician has been class president for four straight years. His legacy? A new and improved *Fab Club.* And he’s not leaving Penn just yet; find Spencer sub–matriculating from Wharton to SEAS for his Masters in Robotics and Engineering.
Emilie “spelled in a weird way because my family is from France” Abrams is the go–to girl for Urban Nutrition Initiative (UNI), studying PoliSci and East Asian Studies. She’s been around the world and back a few too many times—she just can’t keep her accents straight.
This Whartonite is in the business of funny: he’s a Mask and Wig cast member and serves on the exec board for the Performing Arts Council (PAC). When he’s not admiring Hugh Grant or entertaining the masses, he’s probably suspended upside down in mid-air.
As co–president of Kite and Key and co–editor–in–chief of the Pennsylvania Punchbowl, Monica Schechter has to walk the line between being educational and funny every day. Her easy solution? Puns. Cat puns.
The boys of AXO’s annual philanthropy event, Big Man On Campus, are back. This year, they’re taller, they’re hairier and, let the record show, they’re all afraid of Dhamaka.
Street: What makes you a true BMOC?
Ben Slocum: Chest hair.
Kelly–Ann Corrigan, the self–proclaimed “Platt Rat,” has had as many PennCards as exec positions. Though this pint–sized powerhouse may be a master at ordering fellow thespians, she’s got a long way to go before she conquers “Two Truths and Lie.”