34th Street Magazine is part of a student-run nonprofit.

Please support us by disabling your ad blocker on our site.

Campus Life

I see london, I see france

OK, so the Owls are a bunch of douchebags. Sure, they come from Paris and Athens -- but we're talking Texas and Georgia, not France and Greece.

by 34TH STREET

Mississippi Mastectomies

Facing the Music, a collection of short stories by Mississippi native Larry Brown, is a cutting-edge interpretation of modern day relationships . Brown, who died in late 2004, infuses every character and thought with a melodic time-elapsing droll -- a tradition of Southern authors since the days of Faulkner.

by 34TH STREET

How to: Be geek chic

Tina Fey. Seth Cohen. Lisa Loeb, Gwen Eudey. Face it: you've got a hard-on for geeks. From the black-rimmed glasses to their witty Friendster profiles, you go nutty for nerds.

by GRANT GINDER

It's hip to be square

Remember when dense, overgrown Neanderthals with biceps for brains, chest hair before the sixth grade and vocabularies consisting only of homophobic slurs and "you suck" were the Brahmin of the social hierarchy at school?

by 34TH STREET

Social Darwinism

Don't be fooled by the cover of Groton-alum Curtis Sittenfeld's classy debut novel -- Prep. While the pink and green grosgrain belt around the book's middle may bring to mind your wasted summer on Nantucket or that yachtie you fondled at the Newport-Bermuda after-party, Prep's protagonist is not an elitist snob like you and I.

by CLARE OCONNOR

Be like Bill

The students at the University of Pennsylvania attend classes in order to quench their thirst for learning, to develop analytical and investigative mental abilities and to further their quest for divine truth and knowledge.

by NICKIE HUANG

How To: Spot a fake

If you consider Louis Vuitton Murakami handbags, driver's licenses and Elvis, you will find that everything really meaningful in life is necessarily followed by an imitation.

by NICKIE HUANG

Get With The Picture

Some of us are just naturally endowed with big ones. It's what distinguishes the men from the boys, the haves from the have-nots and the rock stars from the fan clubs.

by 34TH STREET

Hipster New Year

January, as a month, is decidedly unhip. It's a time to focus on how to make this year better, while constantly being reminded how you fucked up the last one.

by GRANT GINDER

Get the clap

This article appeared in the December 9th joke issue. Survivor: Prophylactic Island In the past, CBS' reality hit Survivor has relied on scheming andback-stabbing for ratings, throwing a bunch of type-A tacticians onto a desert island and watching them vote eachother off one by one.

by CLITTIE VON DOUCHE

More boobs ...and tubes

This article appeared in the December 9th joke issue. Two couples get to have a swinging week of love with strangers and, in one case, pets.

by 34TH STREET

BEST TV LINES EVER. Yes. Of all time.

Dan Aykroyd on SNL: "Jane, you ignorant slut. My personality profile is not at issue here, any more than is your inability to achieve orgasm." -- Grant Ginder Angela Chase on My So-Called Life: "School is a battlefield for your heart.

by 34TH STREET

TURN IT OFF AND MASTURBATE INSTEAD -- Worst of '04

The unleashing of I Love the 90's. Remember flannel? Thank you VH1 for catapulting me back into post-traumatic stress syndrome.

by 34TH STREET

What's your Gay-Q?

1. On Will & Grace, Jack gets cast as a straight man in a commercial. What does Karen say when she finds out? (a) "You're as gay as a clutch purse on Tony night.

by 34TH STREET

Gay as McGreevey

Sex, drugs, and a shitload of sly sarcasm are back. NBC's best primetime sitcom has finally released its third season on DVD.

by ALEXIS STEIN

Soft porn & saunas

Queer as Folk - The Complete Third Season Critics and viewers alike continue to praise Queer as Folk as a groundbreaking, honest, witty, and sexy series as the third season comes to a close.

by JULIA PARMER

Watch this or Die

Our definitive guide to all things hot and not. Desperate Housewives: Hands down the best new drama on TV.

by 34TH STREET

Dave does deutschland

Insomniac with Dave Attell has been exploring the after-hours occupations of the world's insomniacs and promoting wanton alcoholism to late-night viewers since 2001.

by CLAIRE STAPLETON

Hebrew Humor

Jews are fun to laugh at. From Philip Roth's Portnoy's Complaint to Seinfeld to Adam Sandler's "The Hanukkah Song (versions ad nauseum)," the rule is tried and true: laugh at a Jew and you will be laughing for a long time.

by YONA SILVERMAN

Instant Gratification

If These Walls Could Talk by Matt Kuruc In a country as polarized as ours, it has become nearly impossible for people to come together to discuss controversial issues.

by 34TH STREET

PennConnects

Most Read