Highbrow

THE ROUND UP 02.18.16

It’s hard to imagine anything more humiliating than rubbing your genitals up on some random, red-faced freshman girl in front of her whole sorority, but ending up in the Round Up comes pretty close.

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Overheards 02.18.16

Jobless Junior: I stress bought a rotisserie chicken. 

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Valentine's Day: Your Couple Plans Decoded

A breakdown of students' Valentine's Day plans, one quasi–relationship at a time.

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OVERHEARDS 02.11.16

Frat $tar (who doesn't know what Ash Wednesday is): I keep seeing all these girls with black Ts on their head, is that a Tabard thing? 

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LOVE AND SEX OVERHEARDS 02.11.16

Guy in the McNeil stairwell: Girls get wet when they see my rice cooker.

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THE ROUND UP 02.11.16

Roses are red, violets are blue. Just be thankful in the Round Up, we never say who.

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

THE ROUND UP 02.04.16

Tis the sneeze–in for snotty noses and even (s)naughtier situations. If you think your sore throat is bad, at least be thankful that you're not being featured in the Round Up this week.

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

10 First Semester Friends You're Trying to Get Rid of

You're all fucking dropped.

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OVERHEARDS 02.04.16

Jewish boy in Hillel: Anyway, I was born jaundiced.  Girl walking with her friends: So my birthday's on 4/20, right?

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THE ROUND UP 01.28.16

Winter Storm Jonas wasn’t the only thing that did damage this weekend. From your bid party to your snarty (for the uninformed: that’s a snow darty) to your 3am McFlurry, we caught drift of your snowy escapades.

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OVERHEARDS 01.28.16

One professor to another professor: I admire you because you're delicious.

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A Day in the Life: Normal Human vs. Pledge vs. OCR

Because you never realized how weirdly similar pledging and doing OCR were.

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ROUND UP 1.21.16

Welcome back to campus, Quakers. While your tan lines may fade, your drunk escapades remain the same. Remember: the only thing worse than being cut during rush is winding up in the Round Up.

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

OVERHEARDS 01.21.16

SDT hopeful during rush: Okay, but like, Chicago japs don’t compare to New York japs. Old woman at dinner: You know what he said to me?

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How Was Your Break Actually?

How good was your break, really? This flow chart provides the non–bullshit answer to that question. 

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Your 2016 New Year's Resolutions

Watch more normal porn.

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Your New Year's Resolutions for 2016

Highbrow wants to know what you will be failing to do in the next few months.

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Walls Have Ears

Overheard by walls

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Gossip Walls

If you end up in the Round Up, it’s because your friends (or haters) outed you, right? Wrong! It was the walls—they see everything.

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

BATHROOM WALL

These may or may not exist on the bathroom stalls in Van Pelt.

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

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