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The Round Up 04.23.15
Love might be Kesha’s drug of choice, but we prefer gossip. We hope your finals are easier to pass than your summer internship’s random drug tests.
The Meh List: Post–Fling/Pre–Finals Edition
Not good, not bad. Just meh.
The Round Up 04.16.15
Begin your pregames by brushing your teeth with a bottle of Jack, but with Highbrow on the prowl, you better watch your back.
Potential Significant Other or Potential Job: A Quiz
Are these thoughts about a romantic or professional opportunity? You decide.
Overheards 04.16.15
Girl with a crew–cut: Everyone who I've ever had a threesome with is now a Fulbright scholar.
Music Festivals You Haven't Heard Of
Sure, Made in America is fun, but these ~alternative~ music festivals are even better.
How your Favorite Bands Got Their Names
We totally researched this.
Off–Campus Name Game
Highbrow officially proclaims going off-campus is trendy. To have a successful transition, it's all about re-branding. Highbrow put our Wharton classes into good use and created some new off-campus names for a few frats and sororities.
The Round Up 04.09.15
College tours are in full force, so good luck walking to class without hitting an Asian tourist taking a photo of the Love Statue with a selfie stick.
Overheards 04.09.15
Boy walking on Pine: Bro, you’re the king of stimulants.
Funny List Monday: 10 Alternative Uses for Your Turtleneck
Now that spring is here, you might be thinking about retiring that turtleneck. Think again.
The Round Up 04.02.15
No matter what holiday you’re celebrating this weekend, just remember—Highbrow is like God, you can’t see us, but we’re always watching.
Overheards 04.02.15
Drunk bro with eyes closed: I've hooked up with her, I've fucked her, but I don't talk to her.
My Penn Addiction: Jewish Boys
I love me some good Hebrew National salami, in other words, I’m addicted to Jewish boys.
I Love You But Your Social Media Presence Sucks
These are the reasons why you need to do significantly less.
The Round Up 03.26.15
We hope a cute leprechaun sham–rocked your world this past weekend. Highbrow met a sexy ginger named Pat McCrotch who was after our lucky charms all day.
Overheards 03.26.15
Apes freshmen to Apes freshmen: I don't know if you remember this, but I straight licked your face.
Texts from Last Night: Spring Break Edition
(408): I just watched a video of a man sexually arouse a pig. (585): Side note: when you go to the doctor's and they ask you how many alcoholic beverages you've had in the last week, "I don't remember" is not an acceptable response apparently. (559): I just ate Chinese and now I have to swim for lifeguarding.
