Lowbrow

You know, that kid in your class who... ...is unmistakably a native speaker of the language which you are studying, but for some reason still enjoys taking the class and listening to foolish Americans consistently screw up his native language.
February 2, 2006 at 12:00 am

This week, Osama's Corner is proud to feature a recent entry from the secret diary of the Prince of Planned Assaults himself. Diary Entry -- Jan.
January 26, 2006 at 12:00 am

Osama's Corner is a new column designed to bring our readers an inside look at the life of the world's most misunderstood recluse, Osama Bin Laden.
January 19, 2006 at 12:00 am

When I reflect upon the train-wreck that is Lindsay Lohan, I can't help but feel a tinge of pity. What ever happened to our little girl, that innocent, inhumanly freckled Parent Trap star?
January 19, 2006 at 12:00 am

10. Read E.L. Doctorow's new book, The March 9. Spent quality time with your family 8. Relaxed in the sun 7.
January 19, 2006 at 12:00 am

This week's campus profile was supposed to feature an exclusive interview with Career Service's one and only Peggy Curchack.
January 19, 2006 at 12:00 am

January needs something. It's easily the worst month, if we pretend that February -- the month when watching puppies slowly die is better than living -- doesn't exist.
January 19, 2006 at 12:00 am

Top Ten Best Episodes of Saved By The Bell as reviewed by Street Correspondant Willy Goodfellow 10.
January 19, 2006 at 12:00 am

Sorority rush numbers up by 11 percent. Pointy-toed shoe industry prepares for market boom. Death of Turkish girl linked to bird flu. Sparrow sues for libel. Chile elects first woman president.
January 19, 2006 at 12:00 am

Last week I attended my first communist youth rally as a token gesture toward the burgeoning popularity of Penn's Soviet youth culture.
December 8, 2005 at 12:00 am

In case you children forgot, or never knew, I died last year. Yep, even the ol' gipper himself succumbs.
December 8, 2005 at 12:00 am

Insomnia Cookies and Bucks County Coffee team up. Giving insomniacs coffee? That's like giving crack whores crack. Three homes hit by burglars over break. Reportedly, the burglars did not take anything, but left many fist-sized holes in the walls. Trustee gives $25 million to name health center.
December 1, 2005 at 12:00 am

I've sort of been planning this letter for three years. God, this is embarrassing. So, the truth comes out.
December 1, 2005 at 12:00 am

Glowing bright red calls you to the room, the familiar cursive script rising vertically along the powerful machine.
December 1, 2005 at 12:00 am

America Online AOL 9.0: Up to 1000 Hours Free!" Rock icon America Online has returned with its ninth studio album AOL 9.0: Up to 1000 Hours Free and unfortunately has only delivered more of the same.
December 1, 2005 at 12:00 am

The word on the street is that you, Penn students, have f*cked up. You've neglected the masterpiece that is Arrested Development. Despite volumes of critical praise and six Emmy's including Outstanding Comedy Series, you've refused to watch this brilliant program.
December 1, 2005 at 12:00 am

Every year, eager freshmen squabble for seats at Irvine for the Penn Safety Video by the Penn Campus Police.
December 1, 2005 at 12:00 am

Wolf Blitzer speaks to Penn students on honesty in the media. His remarks were brief and evasive. Four violent weekend robberies may be linked. Each incident reportedly includes people taking things from other people. Fox's Arrested Development cancelled. In the words of Gob Bluth, they've made a huge mistake. Surprise gift makes Penn $14M richer.
November 17, 2005 at 12:00 am

Chris Amos: Wharton Inspiration makes female population wonder if making love too many times with someone's eyes has ophthalmologic side affects. Danny Aranda: You might remember him as the brooding boy who walked around looking cool in his thick glasses.
November 17, 2005 at 12:00 am

Adolf Hitler: Noted Francophile and rare Chinese antiques collector, this Whartonite and self-proclaimed Leader of the Aryan Race hated on ethnicities old school.
November 17, 2005 at 12:00 am