Funny List Monday: 10 People Who Died For Your Sins
1) The Ghost of Christmas Present
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1) The Ghost of Christmas Present
—PV is known for ~crazy~ parties, but you might not have the space in your Rodin quad (or the friends) to have one. But you can always pretend there was just a ~crazy~ party. Throw cups and assorted trash on the ground. Take a bottle of Vlad, and mix it with dirt. Pour everything everywhere. Puke as much as you can. You're only one person; you'll need to puke a lot.
Mom: Are you still seeing that nice boy you were seeing when you came home for Christmas? What was his name? Leonard?
Blue Kamikaze: Nerd, who even knows how to make a blue kamikaze?! You definitely Googled that. Nobody wants a Googler on sprang break.
There are people who think this dress is white and gold, and there are people who are dead fucking wrong…just kidding. This viral pic has been sparking GroupMe drama across campus—and almost caused a straight–up brawl in the Street office tonight. We’re investigating the science behind the optical illusion by asking Penn’s smartest profs to dumb it down for us. But first, tell us: what colors do you see?
My lin is awesome.
Who are you kidding? Of course you’re also gonna get dessert. Try Vintage's white chocolate and lemon curd Napoleon. The chocolate will match your drink's decadence, while the acid from the lemon curd will keep you from getting bored with the chocolate-y sweetness.
Where: Vintage Wine Bar & Bistro, 129 South 13th Street
Illustration by Amy Chen
1. Wash your dishes.
Samantha Jones, a public relations specialist and best friend of Carrie Bradshaw—but not quite the best friend of Carrie because, honestly, that’s totally Miranda—will be delivering the commencement address at the University of Pennsylvania’s 259th Commencement on May 18th. Jones is the owner of a successful public relations firm in New York City. She will be the third woman to deliver the address to Penn’s graduating seniors in the last twenty years, after Elaine Benes in 1995 and Monica Geller in 2006.
Name: Rebecca M. Stein (left)
Street: You’re the co–founder of the Black Ivy Coalition. What inspired you to create it?
Let’s face it—your steamy visions of a hot Mexican fling are unrealistic. If you’re single and ready for a Pringle, have no fear. There are ways to heat up your winter before spring break: Christian Mingle, JDate, Grindr, or, for most of us, Tinder. If you’re boring and ugly, there are a couple of quick and easy tips for you to maximize your chances for landing that special someone via Tinder before you take off for PV.
Guy walking out of Wawa: I bought an extra pack of cigarettes for networking.
Sceney Bitch: I’m done with this life of excess I lead. I’m going to become a monk.
Welcome back bitches. But this isn’t the dog park anymore. This week Highbrow got a little too drunk (also the oxycotin didn’t help). Now Lowbrow’s writing the (G)Round Up. Buckle the fuck down while we lay some gossip on you. #bark We know how you guys like puns, so dogs....umm, dogs.
Some people will tell you to always dress in black, but you want to peacock! How about a cape? Or a brightly colored vest so cars can see you at night? We heard that groutfits are coming back into style. But why stop at just groutfits? Make it a poutfit (all purple)! Or a bloutfit (all blue or all blubber—you decide)!
9:40pm: Just hanging with my girls, drinking Smirnoff Ice.
Street keeps you posted on the Oscars. As they happen. Like Ryan Seacrest, just funnier and better looking.
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