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Playlists

Surreal and the city: Is that a drunk at my feet?

Lured by the promise of stiff drinks and the overzealous leather-clad dancers that characterize Philly's club scene, we down cheap wine and go looking for a good time club-hopping downtown. Our first stop isÿthe new Club Life on Third Street between Market and Chestnut.

by MATTHEW ORESMAN

Room: Zucchinis -- That is some ripe shit, yo

Room: 326 Community Cohabitants: Tim Johnson (goatee) and Chris Mingle, College freshmen from Philadelphia. When you two get into a fight, what's the first object in the room you grab for? Tim: I think the signs are usually good. Chris: I try and hit him with the hubcap. Tim: It's like a Frisbee, and it can really [do some] damage. What do you usually put in your shopping cart? Chris: Umm... people. Tim: We use it to catch basketballs when we play hallway bowling. What music were you listening to while decorating? Tim: "Like a Prayer" by Madonna. Chris: Yeah, that was a good one. That makes sense.

by SCOTT HALLER

Surreal and the city: Philadelphia scrapple

"Just shove it in there... oweee." "You can't shove just anything into certain orifices." "Don't point that thing at me." "Ow, you banged that thing into my tooth, motherfucker." It is 3 a.m.

by ERIK JOHNSON

Streetbeats

hand plant Last Will and Testament. In light of rampant death, Americans are reconsidering their wills.

by 34TH STREET

A message from the pfine pfolks at pfyzor

(Note: For those of you too stupid to figure it out, the following piece is a parody of an official message.

by 34TH STREET

LL Cool J spits his two cents, but 'Street' swallows

We here at Street realize that being at college can get a little difficult at times.Without your mommy to pack you a PB&J sandwich and wipe your ass, the task of living an independent life can seem a little daunting.

by 34TH STREET

wots: Ain't nothin but a she thang

Growing up, I always wanted to be Jessie Spano. Many of my friends dreamed of Kelly's spirited bounce and fluorescent spandex as they dream of their wedding day.

by LAURA KATZ

streetscenes: Between the lines

"[Angels in America is] probably the biggest production the Arts House has ever put on... I remember hearing the buzz surrounding [it] when it was going to Broadway, but being too young to actually know much about it, and by the time I was ready to go see it, it was already gone.

by BETH FALKOF

Surreal and the city: Perversions at the PMA

I have never been a big fan of modern art. Something about all of those misshapen figures and oddly formed compilations of "abstract" images never appealed to my aesthetic.

by SAMANTHA VINOGRAD

Licorice: Tampons aren't supposed to be recycled

There is nothing more embarrassing than bringing that special someone home for a night of sex and finding that your roommates have transformed your room into a storage closet for their soiled unmentionables and a recycled tampon factory run by Canadian orphans.

by 34TH STREET

Scubbin' Guide to Diner Management

As Three's Company proved to us so many years ago, three is a magic number. In that spirit, the third diner in as many years will occupy that coveted spot on Walnut Street.

by JARROD KOENIG

Last Call

It all began as a naive attempt to unveil the Penn experience from within. Five editors and a lone photographer immersed themselves in a bar crawl along the edges of campus--observing, writing, drinking, observing, drinking, writing, drinking and drinking--with the belief that when morning came around their notes would be insightful, if decipherable.

by OLIVER BENN

STREETbeats

HAPPY DRUNK Junk Food Crackdown. Some states have decided to attack candy and soda consumption in schools.

by 34TH STREET

Music: Kiss your ass goodbye

Let's get one thing straight: Jadakiss is a born and bred gangsta. Gangstas spend a significant amount of time selling crack and a lesser amount counting their money and putting bullets in the people who cross them.

by DAN KAPLAN

Get a Nightlife: Here's a Leg, Here's a Wing

You may not have been to 2 Goodfellas yet, the recently renovated bar and restaurant on 41st and Walnut streets, but the minute you enter you'll feel as though you've been there before.

by BERNADETTE LEE

Tuesday, September 25, 2001

Smashmouth TLA 334 South Street 8 p.m., $15 adv./$17 at door (215) 922-1011 Everyone sing along: "Hey now, you're an all star, get your game on, whoa!" Oh yes, the one-hit wonder that should have been, Smashmouth is back and ready to floor you with such hits as "I'm a Believer" and "Walking on the Sun." Although "All Star" just may be the most overplayed song in the past few years, here's your chance to hear it live. Vickie Nam, Olivia Chung, and Alaina Wong University Bookstore 3601 Walnut Street 7 p.m., free (215) 898-7595 Nam, editor of Yell-oh Girls!: Emerging Voices Explore Culture, Identity and Growing Up Asian American, along with College junior Chung and College senior Wong, read and sign the collection of writings from various Asian-American females.

by 34TH STREET

LICORICE: Confessions of a Chronic Masturbator

Like every male student at Penn, I have spent many depressing hours trying on my dad's condoms in public bathrooms, attempting to enlarge my penis with a paper towel roll and a vacuum cleaner, performing different yoga postures in attempts to give myself head and masturbating to alligator week on Animal Planet.

by THOMAS ORVILLE MAMAIRDON

Sunday, September 23, 2001

Polywumpus The Point 800 W. Lancaster Avenue 7:30 p.m., $5 (610) 527- 0988 If you think about it, life is just improvisation.

by 34TH STREET

Music: More than just music

Last week was one of those weeks that will always be remembered. It was one of the longest, hardest weeks faced by this country, and it created a new sense of fear across the 50 states.

by GARRETT KENNEDY

ROOM: Nobody Likes Tuscan Eggplants Anymore

Room: Ware 229 Cohabitants: Hsiao-Ying Chin of Brooklyn and Lori White of St. Louis, College freshmen Do you want some Pez? Lori: Sure Hsiao-Ying: No.

by SCOTT HALLER

PennConnects

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