Humor
Timothy Gunatilaka: Lying to Pixley
Media can be used as an instrument for change.The very week we print our incendiary critique of the arguably insufficient "Four or Fewer" campaign in the March 18th issue of Street, the Office of Health Education changes its message to "Take Your Time," as seen in its ubiquitous advertising printed in our parent paper, The Daily Pennsylvanian. Did the OHE sense the growing awareness of a newly informed student body?
From the editor
All my friends are leaving me. Now, I don't just mean the ones who are graduating in a few weeks, though that's happening.
From the editor
I have, in recent years, come to terms with my addictive personality. And I don't mean in the sense that people are addicted to my personality, though that happens too.
When Bono Comes to Town
Well here it is. I've spent the last four years of my life writing that same A-/B+ paper over and over again to finally obtain that coveted Ivy League diploma, or what my therapist calls a "passport." These four boring years of exploiting our society's legitimate (and very expensive) means of social uplift have been at a considerable cost to my ego and my erstwhile career as a teenage pop idol back in Baltimore.
Bionic Eyes
Is it ethical for a man with a bionic eye to play baseball? This is the question I was asked approximately 45,000 times from Thursday to Saturday by CBS in a promo for some new show which, despite repeated admonishments to watch, I never caught the name of. While I doubt that by the year 2030 there will be some sort of bionic eye debate in baseball, such a debate would be interesting.
From the editor
I'm back. I know, I know, you probably didn't realize I was gone. But seriously, I was. I was in Costa Rica, in fact, for a cousin's wedding.
Cigarettes
I quit smoking at least 15 times a day. On good days, my abstinence lasts two hours; on bad days, two minutes.
Ross Clark: Alligator Shirts
I am a goy. It's true, so I might as well confess. As an Episcopalian hailing from the great state of North Carolina, my prior knowledge of Judaism came mostly from the Old Testament.
Scott Haller: Pancakes to celebrate
I've never been so frustrated in my life. And that is saying a lot -- I once threw salt in my best friend's eyes because I was confused about a riddle he was telling me.
From the editor
The other day my friend Ariel and I hosted a negativity party. This sounds bad, but it was not. I am bored, so parties excite me. There are times in my life when I am just ready to get where I am going.
Don't block me
In high school all of my friends got into the whole AIM thing fairly early on. They would say to me, "When are you going to get AIM?" "AIM is awesome," or, "The other day I was talking to ____ on AIM and he/she said _____!
From the editor
I am not the cool person you may have thought me to be. In fact, I used to be a dork. Even today, some of my coolness is a put-on.
How Good of a Penn Kid are You?
1. Your cell phone goes off in class. You: a. Wait. This would never happen. You always turn it off before class. b.
Timothy Gunatilaka
Kalen Lister. Prettiest smile. Lucy Gallun. Well, it's just a side view-profile shot, but she looks really attractive.
Sucking the Meat, or Meat Sucks?
A friend once suggested that if I really hated vegetarians I should walk around campus with a cow in tow.
Valentine's Day shout-outs
CAVEAT: The views expressed in the following belong only to the individuals submitting the ads and do not necessarily reflect the views of 34th Street Magazine and its editors.
From the editor
A great man once said that, "Love is like a box of chocolates -- by the time you get to the creamy ones, you've already hit it with all the nuts and you're just plain sick of the whole thing." Or something like that -- I've never been good with accuracy, which is probably why the DP never lets me write for them.
From the Editor
We've all done things we regret. President Bush did something he regrets, and now he's president of the United States instead of commmisioner of Major League Baseball.
Ribs... Mmmmm
I'm not really a political person. Sure, I try to stay informed, but the majority of my world news comes from skimming articles on the Internet and The Daily Show. I'm more into local news shows, i.e.
