Worried about youth voter turnout on election day, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has decided to partner up with the social media sensation “I’m Shmacked” for a promotional video. For the next two weeks, Secretary Clinton will be touring the country with her campaign team, staying on college campuses. Since millennials have not been engaged through traditional campaign methods, the presidential nominee will be attending specially–themed fraternity parties. The Secretary will be on Penn’s campus this coming weekend. Cognizant of the popularity of themed parties, she has decided to title the event “Susan B. Anthonies and IUD’s.”
The party is jointly organized between the fraternity and Hillary for America. According to campaign spokesman Brian Fallon, “the dress code is pantsuit non–optional and there will be a live saxophone performance from former President Bill Clinton.” Senator Bernie Sanders will be bartending a variety of specialized drinks including “Rum and Polls,” and “Feel the Bern–ing pain of Social Anxiety Drift Away.” Mr. Fallon emphasized that there will be no Banker's.
Street spoke with several fraternity members to gauge their excitement about the presidential candidate’s event. Responses ranged from “Who is Hillary Clinton?” to “I think she was my date at a My Tie last week”. Street asked one member whether the idea of a female president bothered him. “I’m totally a feminist so I have no problem with a woman president.” He added that “It is kinda weird to have a girl host a party though. I don’t know if our society is ready for that yet.”