Internship applications are clogging your to–do list, but don't worry: Street's compiled a list of quick, peppy, impactful words that will help spice up the resume you haven’t looked at since last May (unless you’re working in finance, in which case, I would suggest watching The Big Short to understand the vocabulary you’ll be working with).
Use this to describe the language that you stopped taking junior year of high school.
Ex: Proficient in Spanish, in that I know how to gaze adoringly at international students.
Use this to describe the only mildly offensive mixers that you planned for the one club you’re involved with on campus.
Ex: Coordinated several ‘white trash’ mixer themes that only got mild pushback from the larger community.
Best used to give the impression that the people in your club actually respect your authority when in reality they despise you.
Ex: Leader of a group of Darien–based high school girls on a service trip to Vietnam for five days, where we taught local Vietnamese children the true value of having white people stare at them for a week.
Use to communicate your innate and utter inability to work well with a single other human being on this planet.
Ex: Was a team player at previous job, in that I didn’t discriminate to whom I gave sexual favors.
Use this to convey the impression that you have gained no real skills during your past three summers of employment.
Ex: Developed organizational systems for office employees, because I didn’t have the knowledge or wherewithal to do anything more meaningful than rearranging their files.
The more formal version of synergize. Use to emphasize your familiarity with business vernacular.
Ex: Worked with three other employees to synergizify company’s annual conference on synergy.
Literal buzzword. Use especially if planning to enter the fields of finance or entertainment.
Ex: Special skills include iMovie, Microsoft Office Suite and doing copious amounts of cocaine.
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