Humor

Totally Impossible Penn Riddles

Is it social climbing if you step on an elevated surface?

by ,

Trump Supporters Confused to Find that Made In America Not a Trump Rally

According to many confused festival-goers, Benjamin Franklin was a heathen and who even is Migos anyway? 

by CAMI POTTER

Overheards 9.13.17

Kylie Penn–er: "He kisses so aggressively that I think he's going to pop my lip injections."

by 34TH STREET MAGAINE

Overheards 9.6.17

Elmo BBQ attendees about tourist who found his way into the party: "LET HIM STAY. LET HIM STAY."

by 34TH STREET MAGAINE

Google Maps Directions to Navigate All Four Years of College

Continue straight towards freshman NSO for 71 new friend requests and one regretful DFMO.

by SHOSHANA STERNSTEIN

Wharton Creates “Upper-Level” Seminar Dedicated to Gaining 500 LinkedIn Connections

Do I know you? Who cares!

by CAMI POTTER

Overheards 08.30.17

Washed up frat star: God is dead, and frats have killed him.

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

Study Finds NSO Is Only Thing Penn Students Are On Time For

We have exactly SIX minutes to get to backlot, guys.

by ANDREA BEGLEITER

All Your NSO Questions, Answered

Will there be ice breakers? One of the main goals of NSO is to get to know your peers.

by SHOSHANA STERNSTEIN

Boy MERTs Himself After Swallowing Too Many Hey Day Hats

I feel like you should know you don’t eat them.

by CLAIRE SCHMIDT

Shoutouts: Spring 2017

Redirecting...

by ,

QuadLeaks: Not Even Russian Hackers Can Enter The Quad During Fling

Russia is no match for Quad security

by ANDREA BEGLEITER

Worst of Penn

Hoorah for the Red and the Ew.

by ANDREA BEGLEITER and CLAIRE S

To Whom It May Concern:

My dad knows you, so please give me a job.

by SHOSHANA STERNSTEIN

Shoutouts Submission: Spring 2017

It's the best time of the year—when you get to call out some shit.

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

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