I’m not a fan of man buns. I’m just not into them. I don’t find them attractive. I don’t understand them. Whenever I see a guy with a topknot, a few choice thoughts run through my head: Is this guy just too socially awkward to hold a conversation with his barber? Is his hair so long simply because he’s avoiding a haircut? Yes, I know you’re stuck in a chair and it’s awkward if you don’t keep up the small talk, but it can’t be as bad as your sumo hairdo.

Second of all, no guy I know is hygienically aware enough to maintain that amount of hair. Almost every man bun I see is scraggly and unkempt. Am I supposed to find that ruggedly sexy? Because I don’t. Attention men with man buns: There's a difference between rugged, strong, I–rub–dirt–in–my–wounds masculinity and actually being filthy. It’s not a fine line.

On the other hand, if the bun looks clean and his hair is luscious, then I’m just as pissed off. A guy is not allowed to have nicer hair than I do. That’s not fair. All it makes me think about is how much time he put into making his hair look that nice. I don’t like boys who put gel in their hair, so I definitely don’t like boys who deep condition. If you spend more time on your hair than I do, you’re just not the one for me. Give me a guy with a deep v, tight jeans, and a coiffed bun, and I’ll give you a guy who spends more time in front of a mirror than is emotionally healthy. FYI: Maintaining the stereotypical attributes of a hipster does not a hipster make. Isn’t that the opposite of what they’re all about? God, stupid hipsters.

I understand that guys with man buns want to be accepted for who they are. I accept you, guys with man buns, but I just don’t find you attractive. You can strum an acoustic guitar for me, you can help me buy some camping gear, and you can tell me all about the time you’ve spent in Europe. But if you ask me to borrow a hair tie, it’s all over.

Read the point here. 


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