Decoding Your Fall Break
Vegas: #seniors #yolo #strippers
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Vegas: #seniors #yolo #strippers
Girl washing celery, carrots, and cucumbers in Fisher Bennett basement women’s bathroom: I'm making salad.
Holy shit—the Pope is coming. We hope you behave yourself this weekend because his holiness doesn’t tolerate sinners.
As you're walking down Locust this week, one thing’s apparent—the leaves are changing color! What a miracle of fall. The Pope must have brought it with him. But why do they change color? Most people think it’s biological; the chlorophyll breaks down so more colors other than green become visible. This all seems great and true, until you really think about it. Why would any color want to change? Nobody likes change. (Ed. Note: You’re right, I hate pennies.)
If Penn or Snapchat existed during the Renaissance, we imagine it would look something like this...
The Pope is coming to town, but that doesn't mean he should get to have all the fun. Instead of going into hiding this weekend, take the opportunity to explore the City of Brotherly Love with 1.5 million of your closest friends. Still not sure how to spend all that time? Lowbrow has you covered.
Tired of offending unsuspecting partygoers with your blatant use of religion? Fix that with these helpful guides to throwing the best, religion–free party!
You really don’t want to have your sins still around when the Pope comes, but you’re busy. Thank God for Venmo!
Huntsman senior: I would never have sleepovers with my hookups—my breath smells like a diaper in the morning, and I get really self conscious about it.
Jew year, Jew you! You might be a total goy, but we all know you’re going to cash in on any excuse to skip class. Near and far, Is-reali been a wild week...
What is a fuckboy? A lame, douchey guy who thinks he’s cooler than he is and doesn’t treat others respectfully. He will probably have a dadbod within the next five years (sans child) after earning his Economic History degree from the University of Pennsylvania.
If Penn or Snap Chat existed during the Renaissance, we imagine it would look something like this...
Street: What’s your spirit animal?
We hope you celebrated Labor Day by putting your liver to work. Highbrow is sad to say that summer has come to an end, but have no fear baby Quakers, things are just starting to heat up in the Round Up.
Did you go to the beach?
Girl at the Clark Park farmers’ market: I’m going to freak out if we actually interact with the Amish.
Ticonderoga Pencil: Your dad obviously bought too many 100–packs of these when you were in second grade. He sends them to you every week.You don't stop him.
You know that hideous burnt sienna shag carpet that covered your grandma’s floor? Well now it’s the color of a rotten PSL. But waste can really hurt the world. Lowbrow has ten Pinterest–ready ideas to turn the carpet into something useful.
Street: We heard you’ve interned at Urban Outfitters for the past couple years. What was that like?
Walking is really, really hard. You never know when a flying hot dog or stray wrecking ball will come out of nowhere and bite you in the ass. And East Coast weather can be so unpredictable. It's bad enough that you have to worry about bumps, potholes and other trippy things when you walk. Factor in forecasts of hurricanes and hamburgers and walking down Locust without experiencing PTSD becomes next to impossible.
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