Campus Life

Matt Klapper: Matt Klapper has 691 Penn friends on thefacebook.com. He likes them all. No seriously, he does.
April 7, 2005 at 12:00 am

My watch has been broken for two years. Sometimes the hands move at twice their normal speed, sometimes not at all.
March 31, 2005 at 12:00 am

At last, after this long and freezing winter, April has arrived. Fling is just around the corner, the end of the semester is on the horizon and the sun (hopefully) is about to warm our aching bones.
March 31, 2005 at 12:00 am

Rats are brilliant architects. For them, the intended purposes of humankind's designed objects hold no meaning.
March 31, 2005 at 12:00 am

Ever since my bamboo plant "Cactus" was featured in last week's Ego section on "Best Looking Pets," my stalky companion has developed a little ego of her own.
March 31, 2005 at 12:00 am

Anxiety Wrap, $63.95 The Anxiety Wrap is a wonderful tool that helps dogs cope with past and present fear issues.
March 24, 2005 at 12:00 am

Frankly, we don't care who you are. Your personality bores us, as does your pathetic attempts at conversation.
March 17, 2005 at 12:00 am

In prehistoric times, a person's apparel was a testament to physical agility and hunting prowess. Your apparel was only as spectacular as the animal you had the ability to kill.
March 17, 2005 at 12:00 am

When Eve plucked the apple from the tree in the Garden of Eden so many spring seasons ago, she was hungry.
March 17, 2005 at 12:00 am

HIP Three-piece suits Lacoste t-shirts Cashmere sweaters True Religion Jeans Non-poofy North Face jackets Vans Marc Jacobs garments Tabard sweatshirts Patterned galoshes SmartWool socks Flip-flops Long underwear Poofy North Face jackets Theta sweatshirts Polo garments Fringy scarves Brand new purple Chuck Taylors Popped collars PhiSig Sweatshirts Penn clothing Abercrombie & Fitch Surf Shack T-Shirts Mavi jeans Juicy Couture garments Uggs Anne Taylor Loft garments Donovan McNabb jerseys NOT HIP
February 24, 2005 at 12:00 am

Ever since my parents found out about the Internet, and, clever elders that they are, realized they could read my contributions to Street online, penning my Spring Break memoirs has risks.
February 17, 2005 at 12:00 am

It's probably a good idea not to get tanned before you get tanned (and by tanned we mean tanned and also drunk), as was initially the premise of this pre-Spring Break tanning investigation, because the whole thing is a lot more complicated than you might think.
February 17, 2005 at 12:00 am

In 1996, when I was in seventh grade, my mother told me I dressed like a homeless person. Although the '90s saw an economic growth in the US that had never before been seen or even imagined in any country in history (never mind the 80 other countries we smashed to smithereens on our way to the top), the fashion-minded youth chose to adorn themselves with baggy flannels, tent-like Stussy T-shirts, and ragged, snaggle-cuffed JNCOs of Herculean proportions, all teeming with lice and God knows what other breed of infectious bacteria due to a generational phobia of soap and water.
February 10, 2005 at 12:00 am

The hits just keep on coming as VH1 produces yet another series that celebrates our love for analyzing life ten years at a time.
February 10, 2005 at 12:00 am

We, like, totally love Angela Chase. At the ripe age of 15, she taught us that life, love and plaid/flannel combinations -- while difficult -- are all A-OK.
February 10, 2005 at 12:00 am

You know that summer in St. Trop is only fun if you avoid the army of wrinkled German men in thongs and retreat to Les Caves du Roy nightly.
February 3, 2005 at 12:00 am

It's 1:20 a.m. on a Thursday night, and I've lost my dignity. I become painfully aware of this as the heel of my shoe cleaves itself between two bricks and interrupts the flow of my hopping up and down.
February 3, 2005 at 12:00 am

You don't need to know where St. Tropez is to be hip. I mean, let's face it: it's going to take a lot more than that.
February 3, 2005 at 12:00 am

OK, so the Owls are a bunch of douchebags. Sure, they come from Paris and Athens -- but we're talking Texas and Georgia, not France and Greece.
February 3, 2005 at 12:00 am

Facing the Music, a collection of short stories by Mississippi native Larry Brown, is a cutting-edge interpretation of modern day relationships . Brown, who died in late 2004, infuses every character and thought with a melodic time-elapsing droll -- a tradition of Southern authors since the days of Faulkner.
January 27, 2005 at 12:00 am