To blonde girls: Where are you?! —Disappointed exchange student
To an AXO: I can say no.
To Tyga: The University of Pennsylvania might not be your biggest fan, but somewhere a school called Penn University loves you.
To the beautiful SDT sophomore I met at Shabbat dinner: Shut up.
This time of year, we value creativity. Use yours to sneak your supply of alcohol into the Fling concert or quad. We promise it will help you forget about the disappointing lineup.
10:55 am: Two friends and I trek to Copa on an early Sunday morning.
11:02 am: Walk past Copa by mistake because we don’t know what 40th and Spruce looks like during the daytime.
11:07 am: Enter Copa, where the calm morning atmosphere is strange.