hb
Overheard at Penn: 02.24.11
Theos boy after haircut: Don’t I look like a Kennedy?
Beta pledge en route to the Vagina Monologues: Do they show you what a vagina looks like?
SDT Girl #1: I’m still coming up with the answer to this — which do you love more, Israel or cock?
SDT Girl #2: I’m still coming up with THIS answer — would you give up getting eaten out, or cheese?
Theta in Marks Cafe line: Bagels make you super fat, right?
Guy in Houston: In other news, not Pokemon related, I just got a PlayStation 2 to work on my computer.
by 34TH STREET
The Gutter: 02.24.11
By all accounts, the Theos day party last Friday was a rousing success (even some moms showed up!), no doubt helped by the unexpected spring weather.
by 34TH STREET
Word on the street
Word on the Street: Admitting is the First Step
If you were to poll the average female Penn student on her study techniques and procrastination methods, I assume she would, reluctantly, admit to high volumes of Facebook stalking, online shopping, perhaps a little Netflix and some New York Times for the sake of being informed.
by COLETTE BLOOM
Indecent Exposure: Dzine2Show Spring Model Auditions
On a cold Sunday in a nondescript Huntsman Hall classroom, two Penn students begin a long afternoon.
by TUCKER JOHNS
Word on the street
Word on the Street: Late to the Party
One text message just changed my life.
by 34TH STREET
Dispatches: Ski Trippin'
10:45 p.m.: Arrive in Montreal and go to an organized club event (this sounds terrible).
10:47 p.m.: Wait.
by 34TH STREET
Overheards: 02.17.2011
Girl at Smoke's: OMG, he has such a great left nip.
Frat Bro flyering on the walk: Do you hate Alzheimer’s?
Student walking by: I can’t remember.
Guy on stationary bike at Pottruck: One of our pledges made a PowerPoint of the top 10 hottest pledges in AXO.
by 34TH STREET
Open Caption: Wing Bowl 2011
"I hear Penn has a great Gender Studies department!"
Wells Fargo Center, 6 a.m., Feb.
by 34TH STREET
The Gutter: 02.10.11
After all of the Greek leaders disappeared for a night in the woods on Friday with Larry Moses, things just seem to be going from bad to worse for Penn Greek–dom.
by 34TH STREET
Word on the street
Word on the Street: OCR for a Film/English Major
After analyzing gender dynamics in Eliot’s Daniel Deronda, I left my 19th Century Lit class and went home to retrieve my slightly oversized suit jacket.
by NICK STERGIOPOULOS
Overheard at Penn: 2.10.11
Guy in Quad: It’s addictive watching two men in gladiatorial combat.
Girl: I just did math team to be the one blonde girl that’s good at math and be like, "Fuck you!"
Freshman boy #1: What is Tabard anyways?
Freshman boy #2: Who cares?
by 34TH STREET
Gutter: 02.03.11
Can we please stop it with all of these “fights?" This week, the Beta pledges ditched the Roman garb and were charged instead with protecting a snowman.
by 34TH STREET
Overheard at Penn: 02.03.11
Senior Boy #1 gives a pep talk to Senior Boy #2: You’re a fucking senior.
by 34TH STREET
Dispatches: Downtown Divided
My First Downtown
10:37 p.m.: Start straightening my hair. I don’t think curly flies round these parts.
11:55 p.m.: My friend buys me a shot, because it’s “so funny that you actually came downtown!”
12:56 a.m.: Some guy named Alex has introduced himself to me at least 15 times.
1:04 a.m.: Run into Alex from before and say hello.
by 34TH STREET
Word on the street
Word on the Street: Netflix Has Taken Over
It all started out so innocently.
by MICHAEL GOLD
Overheard at Penn: 1.27.11
Girl: I can’t believe I blacked out in Spanish class.
Friend: Hey, shit happens.
Athlete #1: I heard you and Sonya last night.
Athlete #2: No, what you heard was me fucking the shit out of her.
Athlete #1: Jackrabbiting, man.
Student: Do you think flash mobs are real?
Asian student caught in snowstorm: Oy gevalt.
by 34TH STREET
Word on the street
Word on the Street: Home Alone
My name is Tucker Johns, and I live by myself.
by TUCKER JOHNS
The Gutter: 1.27.11
Now that bids have been handed out, freshmen have officially evolved from desperate kiss–asses into full–fledged bitches.
by 34TH STREET
Word on the street
Word on the Street: Emphasis on the Study
"Did you have, like, the time of your life?” When I tell people that I studied abroad last semester, this is the near–unanimous opening question.
by TUCKER JOHNS
PennConnects
Newsletters
Get 34th Street's newsletter, The Toast, delivered to your inbox every Friday morning.
NewslettersMost Read
Latest Issue
