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(03/19/15 5:12am)
It’s a Tuesday night in March in the basement of Harrison College House, and four Penn students gather around an unused pool table. The two sitting in the middle rotate the responsibility of dealing cards to the group. A $160 pot has been collected, and one dealer keeps the cash in the back pocket of his jeans. The colorful, plastic chips mean more. Except for the sound of Penn Masala rehearsing in the piano room next door and the rhythm of players shuffling their chips, it’s silent. Upstairs, people are studying, spending time with friends, watching Netflix. Downstairs, it’s only poker.
(12/04/14 7:12am)
This article was originally published as part of the joke issue on 12.4.2014
(12/04/14 7:55am)
This article was originally published as part of the joke issue on 12.4.2014
(11/24/14 7:30pm)
Of course, someone needed to be in the scary B613 hole
this season, and turns out it’s Maya. Viewers are given about a second to
process and get over the disappointment of not seeing Harrison pop out. In
response, Liv tries really hard to prove she has no feelings for either of her
parents and does a horrible job concealing the Popes’ desperate need for family
therapy.
(11/19/14 9:08pm)
Unlike most
episodes, this one actually starts where the last one left off. Jake, Liv and Fitz are at the negotiating
table. Jake wants to be called Captain Ballard, kill Rowan, and drive Fitz
crazy, all while looking super hot with his scars. Fitz and Jake claim they
have no hard feelings, which was just a ridiculous waste of episode time.
(11/19/14 11:41pm)
So, now that there’s hope, Fitz calls Olivia every night. She is just worried about Jake’s condition, and Mellie sees Fitz talking to her. Why cant there just be two happy couples here?
(11/06/14 7:39am)
“Boardwalk Empire” (HBO) makes us feel like we totally get 1920s and ‘30s Jersey history. This series aired its finale on October 26th. Atlantic City, anyone?
(11/03/14 7:42pm)
This week, we
are welcomed to the episode with a sex
scene that switches back and forth between Jake and Fitz, again and again. Turns out it’s just a really gross
nightmare. There’s so much random and
misplaced sexual tension between the love triangle during this episode and
we are just on our phones texting. Been there, seen that. Let’s get to the good
stuff…
(11/06/14 7:19am)
From outside, Room 205 in Fisher Bennett Hall seems inconspicuous: across from the Cinema Studies office and just past the second–floor bathroom, only a brass nameplate distinguishes it. Inside, it’s an oasis.
(10/28/14 6:38pm)
After taking a week
off from her storyline, we care about
Katherine Winslow again. Her husband’s chief security officer, Dan Kubiak,
probably killed Kaitlin and in this
episode, killed her BFF Faith, while Quinn
and Olivia watched. Clearly something sketchy is going on with these girls
and between the father and the security guard, who is an ex–cop with police
buddies covering his ass. Faith
swallowed a key right before Kubiak shot her, but Quinn retrieves it after
a little open–stomach, post–death surgery.
(10/22/14 10:13pm)
So, Katherine Winslow was taken into custody, but of course, OPA forgets about this case like every
other one so far this season. Forgetting about your clients might not be the
best business model, Livvy. Is the concept of carrying plot from one episode to
the next totally dead? The only thing that seems to stay relevant throughout
the season is Liv’s murky relationship
status.
(10/16/14 7:18pm)
34th Street Magazine: How much of your film is based on lived college experience? What kinds of research did you do beforehand?
(10/16/14 6:20pm)
Racial tensions, college partying, film festival awards, unique camera angles and breakout performances: this dramedy has all the ingredients of an Oscar winner.
(10/16/14 3:40am)
Our new BFF Lizzy Bear has a really cute kid, but
not shockingly this doesn’t make us hate her less. A gun lobbyist happens to be dropping his kid off at the same time,
and he hates the President’s new gun
control bill, which has been taken to the Supreme Court. Rosen pulls out a win thanks to a weird “let’s
ignore the Constitution” argument and his top–secret blackmail files. All the while, Mr. Prez likes to hate on “these gun people” that just happened
to pay for his campaign. I bet they’re regretting that investment right about
now. Oh, and just in case you were loving David’s new blackmailing hobby, you
should know the judge he blackmailed killed himself: with a gun.
(10/15/14 4:27am)
Foodies and foodstagram lovers have probably been hearing tons about Hai Street Kitchen, “Philadelphia’s first Japanese Burrito Bar,” since it opened at the end of May. But for those of you haven’t, picture Chipotle for sushi lovers. The cultural influence of Hai Street's rolls (or sushiritos, as fans like to call them) differ depending on the ingredients inside. The chicken, pork or steak options ($7.99-8.99) are comparable to a burrito with a Nori seaweed wrap instead of a tortilla, whereas choosing the shrimp, salmon or tuna ($7.99-8.99) as the main ingredients will essentially get you a tricked out sushi hand roll. Luckily for the vegetarians, the grilled Portobello mushroom choice plays for both teams. You can choose from their seven recommended rolls, or mix and match the ingredients on your own to create your ideal half–Mexican, half–Japanese food baby.
(10/11/14 12:58am)
Shots are fired (yes,
a gun control pun) pretty early on in this episode with “the Taliban is better than you.” The insulter and insulted in
question are Mr. and Mrs. Elliot,
gun control activists. The Mrs. is the hero of a Sandy Hook–style elementary
school shooting. Her husband was a POW. They are invited to the SOTU because
President Grant is focusing on gun
control. Yeah, his Republicanism
went out the window a while ago and Lizzy
Bear would be crying if that bitch had any emotions.
(10/11/14 12:50am)
Fans of “Arrow” and DC Comics everywhere have been expectantly waiting for the premiere of The CW’s new show “The Flash”, based on the comic book character by the same name. After the success of “Arrow”, the network decided it would try their hand at bringing another DC character to your television (aka computer) screens. While they’re marketing this show as an “Arrow” spin–off, it seems unlikely that the two shows will have any relationship to each other after the first episode. That said, they’re very much in the same style. While Oliver and Barry don’t have much in common minus the whole saving–the–world business, at least they both have added character complexity with one parent slumming it in Iron Heights jail.
(10/06/14 8:30pm)
If you saw any ads or trailers for “Selfie,” you were probably expecting that everyone would give it this year’s award for the stupidest show on television. The funny thing about this twenty–two minute, single–camera sitcom (besides the decent humor) is that it is both idiotic and incredibly smart at the same time.
(10/02/14 1:03pm)
Last week, The Shakespeare Globe came to the Annenberg Center for the Performing Arts to perform King Lear. The production is touring on small scale, Elizabethan–style stage, choosing to keep the house lights on for the entire performance in order to mimic the outdoor stage experience the audience would have at the real Globe. Everything going on in the show happened on the stage. Many of the costume and set changes were on stage, and the actors made all of their own sound effects. There was no special lighting or background music that was not produced on the stage itself.
(10/06/14 8:25pm)
While some of you were celebrating the Jewish New Year, ABC brought the Shonda Rhimes trio (“Grey’s Anatomy,” “Scandal” and “How to Get Away with Murder”) to TVs everywhere. Fans have been anticipating the fourth season of “Scandal” since last season’s finale left us feeling…well, depressed (RIP Jerry Grant).So, the show’s back and Olivia and Jake are sitting on a beach. She’s reading “Gone Girl,” Jake’s being Jake and it’s hard to determine if this is actually the show or my dream from last night. Needless to say, shirtless Jake Ballard is hotter than the sun, even on this beautiful, beachy island. Olivia goes by the name Julia Baker, but still loves fancy wine and the delivery of a glass is accompanied by Harrison’s death announcement. Obviously, she goes back to D.C. in the first five minutes, which no one is surprised by. She somehow gets a perfect blowout on the way. Quinn (in an upgraded wardrobe) is the only gladiator left standing, which makes us miss Harrison because he was secretly the favorite A in OPA. Huck is a genius bar worker named Randy, and Abby is killing it as the White House Press Secretary. Mellie walks through the Oval Office in her pajamas, ditching the traditional first lady role and doing her own thing. Fitz is pretty liberal now, so the GOP is pissed. Shockingly, the Grant White House Round Two is bipartisan, super functioning, addressing women's issues and a not–so–subtle hint at what our administration should probably be. Abby and Liv fight, but the team predictably comes together later at Harrison’s funeral with “Bridge Over Troubled Water” playing in the background. To clarify, Liv’s dad did not kill Harrison, but he did kill her mom (because Fitz told him too). President Grant: 1, Terrorist mother of President’s mistress: 0. Jake pays a visit to our boy David Rosen, who really messed things up with Abby and didn’t take down B613, even after color–coating the scary files. He might not have the girl, but by the end of the episode this Democrat will be Attorney General.Things start to get interesting when Olivia gets a call from Senator Vaughn, who thinks she just killed Senator Sterling. Olivia ditches the Julia shit and decides to help the senator, who claims she was sexually assaulted. This is a TBT (yes, the show airs on Thursdays) to the cases OPA used to take on and why we fell in love with the show in the first place. Turns out, Senator Vaughn’s staffer Kate was actually assaulted and set up as bait. A girl might have been abused, but it’s all good because the Equal Pay Bill will totally pass now. That’s feminism, right?In other news, Mellie has a few scenes where she steals the show as a mother in mourning (Bellamy Young kills it). Fitz vows not to see Olivia and maybe their marriage isn’t as horrible as their sex lives. Oh, except that he tried to kill himself on a bad night. The show now throws in decently vulgar language to be edgy or something. Also, Cyrus is still an absolutely horrible person and character. And Gettysburger has changed their menu.Needless to say, we can’t wait for the new scandals, fake female empowerment speeches and Team Jakemoments that season four has in store!