Humor
Handshake Renamed OneArmedHug to Foster More Accurate OCR Experience
Putting the "cute" in "recruiting"
BREAKING: Student “Activist” Selects Frame for Profile Picture That Will Solve Everything
Brb, saving the planet.
Overheards: 10.4.17
True patriot: "I gave my first handjob on the Washington Monument."
Fall Break Offers Freshman First Big Chance to Assert Privilege Over Everyone
"I’ve been slowly building on my superiority for a while now."
Unclear if Undergrads Speaking in Code or Just Overusing Penn-centric Abbreviations
He def SABS enough to be PPE.
Students Vote to Replace Harvest with SoulCycle; Life-Saving Urgent Care Center Second
I'm not trying to walk back from my work out—I literally JUST worked out
Overheards 09.27.17
30 year–old–woman: "A little molly never hurt anybody."
Senior with Goldman Sachs Offer and "Problem Solving Skills" Gets Really, Really Lost in the Quad
"Which one is Fitler?" said the fully grown adult
Overheards 9.20.17
Archetypal Penn dude: "We're dating. With an asterisk."
My Strange Addiction: Constantly Applying To Jobs On Handshake
You can't beat the rush.
Green Day Woken Up, Goes Back to Sleep Until 2020
Green Day band members face a confusing past when they are woken up at the end of September.
The Streets of Penn: Personified
Ugh, why won't Locust just shut up?
Totally Impossible Penn Riddles
Is it social climbing if you step on an elevated surface?
Trump Supporters Confused to Find that Made In America Not a Trump Rally
According to many confused festival-goers, Benjamin Franklin was a heathen and who even is Migos anyway?
Overheards 9.13.17
Kylie Penn–er: "He kisses so aggressively that I think he's going to pop my lip injections."
Overheards 9.18.2019
Needy vegetable ex–lover: "Am I getting ghosted by Hip City Veg?"
Overheards 9.11.2019
Rollerblade Elitist: “Every time I see an electric skateboard a part of me dies.”
Overheards 4.10.2019
Lost Narc: "Are drugs like acid and stuff like that illegal?"
Let's Play Bingo: Eagles Parade Edition
First one to get five in a row wins.
