Concerned sophomore: I’m really nervous about passing out in a bush tomorrow.
Harvest bartender: You hit the tip of my wiener.
Sassy senior: Mom, you need to stop captioning your photos with #yolo.
Judgmental SDT sister: She totally waxes her own back.
Girl on phone: She wore leopard print to a wake? What the hell is wrong with her?
Sorority girl: Can’t a girl get some decent peanut butter in the Republic?!
Junior girl: I’ll Venmo you a blowjob.
Guy: I just don’t know what to do.
Fratstar: Go take a poopy!
MBA: People without iPhones are ruining my life.