Every year we’re stunned by Penn students’ sheer inability to submit funny shoutouts. Since you never learn, we’re making an example of some particularly heinous submissions. We’re not laughing with you, we’re laughing at you.
Hit it: Summer Curfews
Quit it: Philly nightlife
Between the mandated curfew for 9–18 year–olds in Philly’s 18th police precinct and the overabundance of summer programs adding to the already–long list of infestations in the Quad, it seems like our beloved corner of the city is shutting down.
We get it, Gretchen, your dad is the inventor of Toaster Strudel. But are you realllllllllly putting your best Stuart Weitzman–clad foot forward when your fun fact at your SPEC Connaissance meeting icebreaker consists entirely of the fact that your parents donated one of the shitty study lounges in the quad?
Never do you hear more “my ‘father/uncle/second–cousin/ex–boyfriend's family friend’....is ...” than during OCR.