*This article is a part of the the Fall 2011 Joke Issue: Real Housewives of 34th Street.
As any true housewife knows, husbands are an essential part of maintaining the super fab, luxurious lifestyle that goes along with the title of being a real housewife.
I have not one, but two, My Heart Will Go On dance remixes on my iPod. I consider Amanda Bynes to be my spirit animal and I think the fact that The Devil Wears Prada isn’t on Netflix streaming is a crime against humanity.
As children raised by Wiccan parents who celebrated Samhain in lieu of Halloween for the first 18 October 31sts of our lives, we at Lowbrow want to make up for lost time and salvage any remnants of a proper childhood while we still can.
If you were to poll the average female Penn student on her study techniques and procrastination methods, I assume she would, reluctantly, admit to high volumes of Facebook stalking, online shopping, perhaps a little Netflix and some New York Times for the sake of being informed.