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Word on the Street

Word on the Street: Guilty Pleasures

I’m always the most awkward around new people. I feel the need to point out every personal flaw I have, which usually reverts back to my horrible taste in just about everything.

by ZACCHIAUS MCKEE

Post-Break Depression

I’m only a freshman, but newborn and noobish as I may be, I like to think I’ve figured some things out about this place.

by PATRICK FORD-MATZ

Word on the Street: My Hubby, My Fave Accessory

*This article is a part of the the Fall 2011 Joke Issue: Real Housewives of 34th Street. As any true housewife knows, husbands are an essential part of maintaining the super fab, luxurious lifestyle that goes along with the title of being a real housewife.

by 34TH STREET

Word on the Street: The Second Half

My favorite time of the week is one most Penn students reserve for nursing their hangovers. If it’s 10:30 on a weekend morning, you can often find me dressed, downtown and drinking.

by 34TH STREET

Word on the Street: Cut My Hair

There are a few things that nobody told me when I decided to cut off most of my hair. I was never informed that my pixie cut would result in serious bedhead every morning.

by FRIDA GARZA

Word on the Street: Send in the Queens

I have not one, but two, My Heart Will Go On dance remixes on my iPod. I consider Amanda Bynes to be my spirit animal and I think the fact that The Devil Wears Prada isn’t on Netflix streaming is a crime against humanity.

by ZACCHIAUS MCKEE

Word on the Street: Keep the Candy

The primary elements of Halloween are: costumes, spookiness, candy and contact with strangers. Candy is okay.

by LEAH STEINBERG

Word on the Street: Lowbrow Edition

As children raised by Wiccan parents who celebrated Samhain in lieu of Halloween for the first 18 October 31sts of our lives, we at Lowbrow want to make up for lost time and salvage any remnants of a proper childhood while we still can.

by 34TH STREET

Word on the Street: On Being Busy

I eavesdrop constantly for overheards.

by PAIGE RUBIN

Word on the Street: My European F.O.M.O.

Every rising junior is forced to make the fateful decision of whether or not to study abroad. At the time, it seems there are infinite factors to consider.

by HILARY MILLER

Word on the Street: Drinking the Friend Cult Kool-Aid

We are Not–Penn–State. We encompass the Wharton School of Business. We are the first university in the U.S., one of the Ivy League and the hardest of cores.

by ALEX HOSENBALL

The Real Ben Franklin

I can’t get enough of our bespectacled founder, the man, the myth: Benjamin Franklin. It all started with my “Why Penn” essay when, like most of you, I Googled the heck out of this dude.

by SANDRA RUBINCHIK

Stare Master

I am a starer. I stare at people. I have probably stared at you. Don’t feel special. I stare at nearly everybody.

by LEAH STEINBERG

Word on the Street: Closing the Book

I’d like to take this opportunity to invite my friends who are reading this to a party at my house on Saturday afternoon.

by LUCY MCGUIGAN

Word on the Street: Internshit

Like many at Penn, I thought it would be a positive life decision to apply for an internship at an investment bank.

by IAN BUSSARD

Word on the Street: Hello, Pottruck

Pottruck.

by SANDRA RUBINCHIK

Word on the Street: Just Let Me Go

You’re in the final moments of your last Friday class, waiting for the minute hand to hit 50 so you can begin/continue drinking for the day and your weekend can officially begin.

by PAIGE RUBIN

Word on the Street: Majoring in Porn

I heard the myth. I read the syllabus and noted the word “pornography.” I read feminist theorists.

by JESSICA GOODMAN

Word on the Street: Admitting is the First Step

If you were to poll the average female Penn student on her study techniques and procrastination methods, I assume she would, reluctantly, admit to high volumes of Facebook stalking, online shopping, perhaps a little Netflix and some New York Times for the sake of being informed.

by COLETTE BLOOM

Word on the Street: Late to the Party

One text message just changed my life.

by 34TH STREET

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