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​Ultimate Getaway-from-the-Pope Guide

Because you definitely didn't realize how impossible it would be to get a taxi.

by SERENA MCNIFF

Pay For Your Sins (via Venmo)

You really don’t want to have your sins still around when the Pope comes, but you’re busy. Thank God for Venmo!

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

11 People You Can't Trust

People who do these things are not your friends.

by ABIGAIL LOWENTHAL

Overheards 09.24.15

Misunderstood bellydancer: I took pre–workout supplements with vodka one time and I ended up home, naked and hugging a pole.

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

Overheards 09.17.15

Huntsman senior: I would never have sleepovers with my hookups—my breath smells like a diaper in the morning, and I get really self conscious about it.

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

Round Up 09.17.15

Jew year, Jew you!

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

ATTN: PENN FUCKBOYS

You suck. Here's why.

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

Wanna Shag (Carpet)?

You know that hideous burnt sienna shag carpet that covered your grandma’s floor. Well now it’s the color of a rotten PSL©. But waste can really hurt the world. Lowbrow has 10 Pinterest–ready ideas to turn the carpet into something useful.

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

What Your Writing Utensil Says About You

Taking notes in class? Learn what your choice says about you in this comprehensive guide so you know why your classmates are giving you that look.

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

Freshman Superlatives

Getting to know Penn '19

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

Overheards 09.10.15

AKPsi member at a frat pregame:Cheers to Excel!

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

Round Up 09.10.15

We hope you celebrated Labor Day by putting your liver to work. Highbrow is sad to say that summer has come to an end, but have no fear baby Quakers, things are just starting to heat up in the Round Up.

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

​How basic was your Labor Day weekend?

Did you go to the beach?

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

EXCLUSIVE: Where Did The Drunk Freshmen Go?

As reported in the DP last week, the alcohol-related hospitalization of freshmen went from twenty-one in 2014 to seven in 2015. After extensive investigative journalism Street has discovered what some freshmen were doing instead of drinking.

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

Family Members Comment on Your NSO Facebook Posts

Should've never accepted that friend request.

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

THE ROUND UP 09.03.15

Listen up, fresh meat—there are few things more important at Penn than the Round Up. Throughout the year, we will be providing you with Penn’s most scandalous gossip. Take off your offensive Dior sunglasses because Highbrow is about to throw some serious

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

​Essential Supplies Penn Left Off the Packing List

Not your mommy's packing list.

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

Overheards 09.03.15

Scruffy boy on Locust: It’s not business, it’s an orgy.

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

Shoutouts By the Numbers

No surprise, THEOS got a piece of that hate pie.

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

SHOUTOUTS: SPRING 2015

You submitted, we laughed, we groaned, we wrote Ed Notes at 3am. Now for your enjoyment...

by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE

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