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Highbrow
Overheards: 10.4.17
True patriot: "I gave my first handjob on the Washington Monument."
by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE
Highbrow
Highbrow Throwback: Hoodie Allen
There ain't nothing like a (U)Penn girl.
by ANNABELLE WILLIAMS
Lowbrow
Fall Break Offers Freshman First Big Chance to Assert Privilege Over Everyone
"I’ve been slowly building on my superiority for a while now."
by CLAIRE SCHMIDT
Lowbrow
Unclear if Undergrads Speaking in Code or Just Overusing Penn-centric Abbreviations
He def SABS enough to be PPE.
by SHOSHANA STERNSTEIN
Lowbrow
Students Vote to Replace Harvest with SoulCycle; Life-Saving Urgent Care Center Second
I'm not trying to walk back from my work out—I literally JUST worked out
by CAMI POTTER
Highbrow
Overheards 09.27.17
30 year–old–woman: "A little molly never hurt anybody."
by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE
Lowbrow
Senior with Goldman Sachs Offer and "Problem Solving Skills" Gets Really, Really Lost in the Quad
"Which one is Fitler?" said the fully grown adult
by DANO MAJOR
Highbrow
Overheards 9.20.17
Archetypal Penn dude: "We're dating. With an asterisk."
by 34TH STREET MAGAZINE
Lowbrow
My Strange Addiction: Constantly Applying To Jobs On Handshake
You can't beat the rush.
by SHOSHANA STERNSTEIN
Lowbrow
Green Day Woken Up, Goes Back to Sleep Until 2020
Green Day band members face a confusing past when they are woken up at the end of September.
by CAMI POTTER
Lowbrow
Totally Impossible Penn Riddles
Is it social climbing if you step on an elevated surface?
by ,
Lowbrow
Trump Supporters Confused to Find that Made In America Not a Trump Rally
According to many confused festival-goers, Benjamin Franklin was a heathen and who even is Migos anyway?
by CAMI POTTER
Highbrow
Overheards 9.13.17
Kylie Penn–er: "He kisses so aggressively that I think he's going to pop my lip injections."
by ,
Highbrow
Highbrow's Guide to Alternative Dirty Rushing
Like regular rushing, just dirtier.
by ANNABELLE WILLIAMS
Humor
Let's Play Bingo: Eagles Parade Edition
First one to get five in a row wins.
by DANIEL BULPITT
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