Overheards February 2024
Ethereal Bisexual Daughter: "I came out via the Penn Marriage Pact."
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Ethereal Bisexual Daughter: "I came out via the Penn Marriage Pact."
Banned from La Tao: “I’m a super sloppy hot–potter.”
That Hummus Grill Checkout Guy: "You mean you don't want a log of beef in your pita?"
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson: "I have the traps of a wrestler, like a man wrestler."
Charlie Javice: "Embezzlement doesn't count if it's by accident."
Street Goes Gay–for–Pay: "Man heat: boys be warm."
The Guy in Question: “I love the guy using the virginity as a social construct argument to get in a girl’s pants.”
Supreme Kirby–in–Chief: “I’m such a tactile little chomper.”
Soft Swinger: “He’s a Mormon, but he hits different.”
Leonardo Da Pression: “It’s like The Last Supper but depressing and in Commons.”
Machiavelli, Yassified: "He’s never thought to look through my phone because he's just stupid that way."
Serfs Anonymous: "I think I was a peasant in my past life. I have peasant taste."
God to the Egyptians: "Jinx! You owe me your firstborn child."
Low Carb, Low Intellect: “You're built like a box of angel hair spaghetti.”
Amateur Tooth Fairy: *long pause* "Maybe I have a tooth fetish …"
Putting the 'I' in Illiteracy: "Perhaps one might say I put the 'sis' in Narcissus."
Human Cheese Grater: "I was a biter at two; by three, I was reformed; and by five, I was back to biting."
Borscht Afficionado: "I'm so pro–beets my pee is red."
@karinhotnanel on Instagram: "I thought cash bar was a metaphor."
Charcuterie Connoisseur: "Who eats salami? Like, a sausage I can get behind. Oh, I can get behind a sausage."
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