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Overheards

Overheards 10.20.16

Quizzical horndog: Do you think vegans swallow? Like, are they allowed to?

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Overheards 10.13.16

Person we kind of want to die soon: At my funeral, I want people to do lines off my coffin, but instead of cocaine, I want it to be my ashes.

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Overheards 09-29-16

Champ: I can’t believe I happy hour–ed for four hours

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Overheards 9.22.16

Most Relatable Girl Ever: I have no reason to believe this, but I'm like, pretty sure I'm pregnant.

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Overheards 9.15.16

Elitist Settler: And so all of my aunts are from Idaho and that’s just like not one of the 13 colonies, you know?

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OVERHEARDS 09-08-16

FroGro cashier: Her waist was about eight inches, but her booty was infinite.

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OVERHEARDS 09.01.16

Rejected Freshman at Phi: But I was here for Quaker Days!

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OVERHEARDS 04.14.16

Quad Security Guard inspecting Vitamin D pills: Are these narcotics?

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Overheards 04.14.16

Stat Prof: Technically it's not about the size, it's how you use it.

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OVERHEARDS 04.07.16

Guy in Frontera: Major in econ. The power of money compels you.

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OVERHEARDS 03.31.16

Guy in VP: I'm trying to buy a GSR for Theos

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OVERHEARDS 3.24.16

Queen of Wharton: I was gonna fuck this guy, but he was just so bad at negotiations that I couldn't.

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Texts from Last Night: Spring Break Edition

(570): For a second I thought the dolphin was giving head to that guy at the bar.

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Overheards 02.25.16

Glaringly douchey frat bro on Locust: I have got to stop being so nice. Ya know, to girls that aren't hot and stuff.

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Overheards 02.18.16

Jobless Junior: I stress bought a rotisserie chicken. 

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OVERHEARDS 02.11.16

Frat $tar (who doesn't know what Ash Wednesday is): I keep seeing all these girls with black Ts on their head, is that a Tabard thing? 

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LOVE AND SEX OVERHEARDS 02.11.16

Guy in the McNeil stairwell: Girls get wet when they see my rice cooker.

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OVERHEARDS 02.04.16

Jewish boy in Hillel: Anyway, I was born jaundiced.  Girl walking with her friends: So my birthday's on 4/20, right?

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OVERHEARDS 01.28.16

One professor to another professor: I admire you because you're delicious.

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OVERHEARDS 01.21.16

SDT hopeful during rush: Okay, but like, Chicago japs don’t compare to New York japs. Old woman at dinner: You know what he said to me?

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