Overheards 02.08.22
Maneater with Social Anxiety: "Messing with men online is one of my favorite pastimes."
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Maneater with Social Anxiety: "Messing with men online is one of my favorite pastimes."
The Female Gays: "I actually forgot that men can be in porn."
Pathological Truth–Teller: It would've given my therapist a much more honest picture of myself if I had lied to her.
The Carnivore-to-Cannibal Pipeline: “He's like if a piece of ham came to life.”
My epitaph: "Hater of god, lover of therapy: all the bad things."
Fresh and Flakey: "Can I ask you a favor? Can you take the dandruff out of my hair?"
Not Smarter Than the U.S Marines: "Not all soldiers wear capes."
Modern day Cher Horowitz: "I knew he wanted to hook up with me after he complimented my Zara jeans."
A Polygamist Polytheist: "It's like a monotheistic relationship because they only date each other, right?"
Attracting, Not Chasing: "I don't need you to validate my attractiveness. That's what I have mirrors for."
Wannabe Bachelor in Paradise contestant: "None of my conversations would've passed the Bechdel test this week."
Victim of the "Take A Lap" Phenomenon: "Drake? He reminds me of every man in Phi."
Design Is Their Passion: "I'll be honest. I find Comic Sans kind of soothing."
Girl Who Calls Saxbys Cheugy: "I'm like pistachio milk—I'm high maintenance, expensive, and hard to find."
Free Food Aficionado: “Quarantine is my purge from having pizza literally every single night for years.”
Potential Apocalypse Victim: “My parents aren’t doomsday preppers, they’re more like doomsday expecters. They expect doomsday but don’t prepare for it.”
Stressed Zoomer: “I allocate at least 20 minutes each day just for existential angst.”
Art History Student With A Bad Boy Fetish: "Satan looks hot here."
Seasonally Observant Professor: “I always know when it's springtime because undergraduates start making out on College Green."
Saw Chris Evans in 'Knives Out': “I'm a seasonal bisexual, I just really like men in sweaters."
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