Overheards 11.13.2019
Despondent Girl Seeks Media Job: “I’m going to be an editorial intern until I die.”
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Despondent Girl Seeks Media Job: “I’m going to be an editorial intern until I die.”
Girl at Magic Gardens: “Molly is literally my best friend.”
Former Street media director prepping for married life: “I’ve been microdosing by having a glass of wine with dinner every night.”
Older girl talking to younger girl at Saxbys: “When it comes to dating at Penn, my advice is to just give up”
Romance Language professor: “Start with a lot of passion in your relationships because it will go downhill! Just saying!”
Planner: “I reserve the right to be a total bitch at least 15 times a semester.”
SWUG, to a freshman (who didn't ask): “If you’re not concerned about doing well, college is very easy.”
Oddly-Specific Bio Prof: “Strychnine is what you buy at the store and put in a hotdog and throw over a fence to kill the neighbor’s dog.”
Person who doesn't know how to talk to twins: "Half the time I can tell twins apart."
Listening to Norman Fucking Rockwell! on Repeat: “SABS? Sit and Be Sad? I do that.”
Biology Professor with a Hallucinogenic Side: "Academics don’t know anything about wild secondary plant compounds. Shamans do, though.”
Fisher–Bennett Bathroom User: "$50k a fucking year for single–ply?"
NJB: "Is giving head Kosher for Passover?"
Probably Taking Sex and Human Nature: “Childbirth is hard. I couldn’t imagine my penis becoming the size of a child’s head.”
Street Music Ed: “I don’t know what deep house is. It’s probably like house music, but deeper.”
SWUG: “Maybe this [Sex and Human Nature] class will teach me how to get laid.”
Scheming Spring Breaker: “My fake didn’t work at the club, but then I remembered we’re legal in the Caribbean so I showed him my passport and pretended I aged backwards.”
Networking Opportunist: “LinkedIn is just like Tinder once you’re in banking.”
One Member of the 135th Board: "Do tops exist? I feel like everyone at the DP is a bottom."
PSA to Jeff Bezos: “There’s something in your pants that makes girls want to fuck you. It’s not your dick, it’s your wallet.”
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